Not So SAHM

ROADSCHOOLING somewhere between Here and There

Open Letter To The Meat Lockers

I hate being cold. I’d much rather be hot than cold. It has been hot as an oven down here and I haven’t minded a bit. In fact the heat is what is saving my life. This is what is prompting my:

OPEN LETTER TO THE MEAT LOCKERS
(OTHERWISE KNOWN AS STORES AND RESTAURANTS)

Dear managers of any store, restaurant or public area (especially Old Navy and Applebees),

Is this some form of a joke? Or are you really clueless as to how core body temperature works? Maybe it’s just me, but I’m the one suffering, so here goes. When it is really hot outside, people tend to dress for that weather. Hotter temperatures = less clothing. You get that part right?

Now, when we’re out and about in the summer, in our summer clothing, it is nice to get some relief from the heat. But do you really think we need to be cryogenically preserved for patronizing your establishment? Really? It’s not easy on a body to go from sizzling hot to meat locker cold. Who would have thought, right? Now a little burst of cold air would be nice to take the edge off the summer temps. I’m just saying a little though. We don’t need a never ending supply of frozen air blown on us continually just because it’s close to 100 outside.

Here’s another lesson. Your walls actually do a pretty good job at insulating. Just because it is so freakin’ hot outside doesn’t mean that we’re still going to feel that freakin’ hot once we step in from the heat. A little bit of air conditioning would do. You know, just to drop the inside temp to the low 70s. Let me ask, are you really comfortable with the thermostat set at 47? And actually, I’m acquiescing a bit here. I’d prefer the ambient temperature to be somewhere around 75 to 78, but I understand that most people wouldn’t go for that. But below 60? Really? When I enter the store there’s about one second of a feeling of relief. Then the chilliness sets in. Once I’ve been in there for about ten minutes I start to shiver. By the end of my stay I’m shaking so hard people nearby are wondering if I have some medical condition. This is not my idea of a good time shopping or eating. If I sigh out of relief and begin to actually dethaw upon exiting your building something’s wrong, right? If I’m relieved to be leaving that’s not good for you, is it?

Let me ask you this. Once we enter your place of business you want us to stay there and spend our money right? What good would it do then if I can’t even feel my fingers enough to pull the money out of my wallet? If my fingers are frozen I can’t sign the credit card bill. Will you pay for all the stuff I bought/ate?

Don’t tell me you’re doing this for your staff. I’m still in awe at how they can survive working in Siberia for hours on end. Yes, they may be moving around and active trying to give us great customer service, but they haven’t just come in from the heat either… They don’t need to be chilled to the bone because they don’t really know how hot it is outside. I’m the first one to admit that shopping is a sport; eating too. But I don’t come close to working up a sweat when I’m searching through racks and racks of clothes, or sitting down eating the latest version of chicken, Asian sauce and lettuce mixed together. I just don’t get hot doing these things. I’d venture to say that most normal people out there don’t either.

And don’t tell me to bring in a sweater. Do you know what all I have to remember already? I can’t think for myself because I’ve got someone talking to me 1000+ words an hour. That’s in my right ear. In my left ear I’ve got someone screaming because I’m not letting her bounce through the roof. I have to remember to bring my purse, my keys, my phone. I must remember to wear shoes. Oh, did I brush my hair? Did I brush the kids’ hair? Did I turn everything off? Are both cats still in the house? See? You want me to remember a sweater as well? In the summer? Shut up and turn down the air. The cold has frozen that part of your brain that affects judgment.

Your faithful (frozen) patron,
Vicki

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18 comments on “Open Letter To The Meat Lockers

  1. Lis Garrett
    Saturday, August 9, 2008

    Please add my name to that letter!

  2. Nicole
    Saturday, August 9, 2008

    Count me in, too.

    In some of the older stores, I can understand why climate control was such an issue. You basically had two temps: FRIGID and ROASTING. No excuse in these new, custom-buit places.

    Use some of your profits to buya thermostat!

  3. dandelionmom
    Saturday, August 9, 2008

    AMEN Sister!!! And why is the bathroom even colder?? I know eateries make more $$ by keeping the tables turning-but they don’t get paid per use in THERE!!

    In Wal-Mart I found myself hankerin’ after these really soft fleece-lined hoodies for my kids-they had them in everybodies sizes–why did I want waaaarm hoodies on a 98 degree day? Because they must have been using the market-model for Wal-Mart Syberia when setting the stat! If you can buy a case of water from the aisle and it will feel chilled when you get outside–it is too cold!

    I am convinced that those places are WARMER in the winter and COLDER in the summer. excellent and timely rant girl!

  4. Celeste
    Saturday, August 9, 2008

    How true. I remember having to wear a sweater in Arizona in September. DUMB.

  5. Mama Bee
    Saturday, August 9, 2008

    OMG, you are hysterical and I love it!

  6. Melisa
    Saturday, August 9, 2008

    I agree with this 100%, heck 200%.

  7. Lynn K.
    Saturday, August 9, 2008

    Can I sign it too? I’m tired of carting sweaters around in the summer.

  8. simply anonyMOM
    Sunday, August 10, 2008

    I agree 100%! We went to IHOP the other day and by the time I cut the kiddos food and started into my own they were cold because it was so flipin cold in there.

  9. Kelley
    Sunday, August 10, 2008

    I’m 47 and perpetually have my own “personal summers” (hot flashes) so I love those chilly establishments!

  10. Leigh Anne
    Monday, August 11, 2008

    See? We’ve been friends for like 20 years or whatever for a reason. Because I, too, would much rather be hot than cold. The times I’ve expressed this aloud, I receive bewildered looks. Apparently most people would rather be cold than hot. I don’t get it. Give me steamy heat over frozen toes, nose, and ears anyday. ANYDAY!

    Yes, add my name to this letter, please.

  11. jill
    Monday, August 11, 2008

    How true, I always ask to sit on the patio, I would rather eat out in the heat, then feel like I’m in an igloo.

    thanks for visiting my blog, I love comments!

  12. Sheri
    Wednesday, August 13, 2008

    A kindred spirit! I hate being cold, ever. Winter is the worst time of year for me.

    It’s a pain in the ass to carry a jacket or sweater with me all the time, but it’s gotten to the point if I want to enjoy a meal out or not be miserable while grocery shopping, I just have to suck it up and do it. I keep a light jacket in my van at all times, and make sure my kids do, too.

    Movie theaters are also guilty of this.

  13. AMomTwoBoys
    Sunday, September 7, 2008

    I hear ya. I HATE air conditioning. Which drives my husband crazy because we own an air conditioning company.

  14. Pingback: AllMediocre » Blog Archive » Mediocre Mentions

  15. vixensden
    Sunday, September 14, 2008

    You said it sister! I hate freezing in restaurants. If they are too cold, I won’t go back.

  16. sheasy
    Tuesday, September 16, 2008

    Hear, hear!!! Those place make my nose run.

    And please include movie theaters in the distribution of this letter. Why so freeeeeezing?

  17. Melinda
    Wednesday, November 5, 2008

    Dang…I’m a little late on this one, but here is my two cents worth, anyhow. Keeping public facilities cold is a good

  18. jiosshoe
    Thursday, May 7, 2009

    OMG, I thought I was the only one begging to turn down the AC.

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This entry was posted on Saturday, August 9, 2008 by in Blog, Humor, Open Letters and tagged , , .

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