I’m Sorry, Please Repeat…

ME: Hmm, I need to make that appointment/check on this bill/any number of other things that must be done over the phone. Let me just call this 1-800 number.

VOICE PROMPTED AUTOMATED PHONE SYSTEM (VPAPS): Hello, and thank you for calling XYZ. Satisfied customers are of our utmost concern and we want to please you today! Please say your account number and our automated system will bring up your account.

ME: (saying) 6  8  2…

REAGAN: Mom! Can I have a snack?

ME: SHHHH!

VPAPS: I’m sorry, I did not get that. Please repeat your account number.

ME: 6 8 2…

REAGAN: (whispering) Mom! snack?

VPAPS: I’m sorry, I did not get that. Please repeat your account number. (While VPAPS is repeating herself I’m snapping my finger at R, shushing her again and shooing her away. Quickly though because VPAPS is almost finished with her command)

ME: 6 8 2 5…

ASHLYN: AAAAGGGGHGHGAFFGGGGGAAAAGAAAAAYYYYYLLLLL

VPAPS: I’m sorry, I did not get that. Please repeat your account number, saying each number slowly and clearly.

ME: (out of breath because I just ran into a bathroom and shut and locked the door) (heavy breathing) 6 (ahuh) 8 (ahuh) 2 (ahuh) 5 (ahuh) 7 3 4…

VPAPS: Thank you. Now, please say one of the following options: make a payment, check your balance, check latest activity, speak to a representative.

ME: Check…

CAT (who was sleeping in the bathroom sink): meow

VPAPS: I’m sorry, I did not get that. Please say your choice: make a payment, check your balance, check latest activity, speak to a representative.

ME: (in auctioneer’s speed) checklatestactiv…

KIDS OUTSIDE BATHROOM: (bang, bang) Why are you in there? AAAGGGGHGHGAFFGGGGGAAAAGAAAAAYYYYLLLLL!!!

VPAPS: I’m sorry, I did not get that. Please say your choice: make a payment, check your balance, check latest activity, speak to a representative.

ME: (yelling into the phone, because that makes them more likely to hear me and understand me) Whereisthefreakingoption to punch in the numbers!

VPAPS: I’m sorry, I did not get that. Please say your…

ME: (crying) I give up. Click.

****************************************

I can sense an open letter coming from this. Y’all know how much I love open letters. So check back tomorrow…

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81 thoughts on “I’m Sorry, Please Repeat…

  1. Visualizing this whole scene play out and, sorry, LMAO! Went through a similar scene when trying to help the mother resolve a Social Security issue earlier this year. (SHE was the one I was shushing and trying to keep quiet so I could use the VPAPS.)

  2. hahahahaaa…….really not laughing at you, but I have experienced that more than a few times…LOL… It doesn’t get any better when they are grown either…then it will be DH saying, BABE???? Babe???? why aren’t you answering me???? LOL…thanks for the giggles…and congrats on your day on SITS
    Robin
    http://tqmnurse.blogspot.com

  3. Vicki that is so funny. I SO know what you are talking about, I have to lock myself in the conservatory when I make an ‘important’ phone call and I get two little faces pressed to the window like kids at a candy shop.
    Many congrats on your SITS day, hope you have a blast!

  4. Congrats on being the Sits blogger today!

    I am LOL on this one, I think we’ve all been here, heck, I STILL hide in the bathroom to talk on the phone with ANYONE business or pleasure, and my kids are 11 & 13….and sometimes I do it to hide from the husband, why? Cuz it doesnt’ matter to ANYONE that there is a phone against my ear, now does it?! LOL

  5. Why is it that the kiddos always seem to know when you’re actually trying to accomplish something on the phone? My own brother has said he ‘had to go’ because the noise was getting to him -LOL! It’s like they see Momma with the phone in hand and automatically NEED, WANT or MUST HAVE something right that second. The joys of Mommahood:)

  6. i am laughing so hard…and congrats! i just wonder who thought up the voice automation…def not someone who had kids (or a hubby) around.

    super fun blog…i’m heading out to get to know you more!

  7. Congrats on being Queen for a Day at SITS! As a mother of grown children I am now an emptynester! I just have dogs who decide to bark when I am on the phone! Here’s some Sista’ lovin and a big old hug for you! It’s not easy being a not so SAHM!

  8. Oh man, that made me cringe! My husband already goes through that same frustration everytime he calls a voice automated system — and we don’t have kids yet! He just gets so stressed out, then I get proximity stress.

    Congrats on your SITS spotlight!

  9. LOL…I have always stated htat my kids can go all day and not talk to me but the MINUTE I get on the phone they are all over me, talking to me, etc…. I found you thru SITS and wanted to say CONGRATS on being blog of the day.

  10. hahaha That’s great. Thwarted again. I hate those damn phone systems.

    Love your blog, cute design, beautiful colors and great content!!

    Have a wonderful SITS day and enjoy all the comment love.

  11. Happy Saucy Day!

    This was too funny! Every freaking time I get on the phone I deal with with this. Oh how I miss my phone talking days….

    Aren’t kids fun sometimes? And ever so convienent!

    Hugs….Summer

  12. Oh my gosh… I hope these automated systems dont have “real” people listening in… because sometimes I cannot control the “french” that comes out of my mouth! On another note, awesome blog… LOVE the layout and colors… off to rad more!

  13. I always find myself being mean when I get a system I have to talk to. And, you can’t really make those personal calls from the office when it’s an automated system.

    I learned that with some of those systems if you just mute the phone and don’t push any buttons they will automatically direct you to a rep.

    Maybe that will work next time…

  14. Oh my GOD. Seriously. Between that and the “press 1 for English…” crap, I HATE calling anyone anymore. I shouldn’t HAVE to press ANYTHING for English. English is our NATIONAL LANGUAGE. English is the DEFAULT. Stop wasting my time and making me press unnecessary buttons.
    And either improve the voice recognition software or go back to button pushing. Yikes.

  15. Frusterating! I had a problem when I had to check on lost luggage last year. You had to tell the machine what your last name was. Mine isn’t pronounced how you think, and I’ve heard others pronounce probably 10 different ways. I didn’t know which way the computer thought it should be pronounced, so I had to guess each time I called in. I finally figured out what it thought my last name was and felt like an idiot answering the question “What is your last name?” with something other than my last name!

  16. OMGosh…too funny!!! Thank you so much for the morning giggle! I have actually experienced (although not to that extreme;) trying to use those darn voice systems while my kids were hanging off my legs…awesome. Take care:)

  17. Whatever happened to the good ol’ days when you actually had to enter the numbers in on the phone? The person who designed these voice activated automated phone answering services clearly does not have children.

  18. Reminds me of a few times I’ve left my cell at home and tried to use the OnStar phone and if there is even the slightest sound the automated woman can’t understand me. I end up giving up after the 3rd time I same the phone number!

    Funny stuff

  19. Oh I hate those lines! And why is it as soon as you are on the phone, the kids and/or hubby come running with something to say. I swear my husband is as bad as the kids & let me tell you it is even more embarrassing, lol. At least people on the other end expect kiddos to do it.

  20. Em says:

    I’m so with you! I am convinced that a 60-year-old man with absolutely no family, friends or home life created the VPAPS.

    I would pay big money to listen to the things screamed at an automated system. I imagine even George Carlin (God rest his soul) could probably pick up a new word or two.

    Congrats on being Featured Blogger!

    Em

  21. That’s hilarious! I think we’ve all been there. Of course there have been one too many recent situations in which my husband is on one of those calls and shushing both the children AND me! Not sure what this says about me as a parent…

  22. I swear, I’m having deja vu!! One second the kids are quietly playing, and it seems like the most opportune time to make a call, and as soon as I finish dialing the number, someone is crying, screaming, begging, questioning, etc, etc. OH, you described my life to a tee! Thanks for the laugh…I saw you on SITS…I’ll have to check back more often!

  23. Oh, that is too funny. And so true. Every Tuesday we go through a drive through on our way to choir. And when I am ordering, I have a constant stream of children telling me it’s wrong (when I am placing my own or the sisters order) or what they want to drink (already covered that) – so now we have a rule that they are not allowed to speak from the time we pull into the parking lot until we are back on the road.

  24. You have a great way of making the mundane things i life very funny! I HATE HATE HATE those systems! Why can’t they just do push buttons? Not only is it difficult with kids, it’s impossible to do it in public. Thanks for the laugh!

  25. That was funny! And I can relate because my kids always decide they need to talk to me (read “yell”) when I’m on the phone, even when I’ve just told them that I’m going to be on the phone and that they need to be quiet. It seems to encourage them to yell more.

    I’ve only used the voice recognition type phone service once before and that was enough. I believe my call ended with me yelling at the phone almost in tears too!

  26. Oh, I’ve been there so many times! I hate those things! They pick up every background noise and around here (five kids!) there is ALWAYS background noise!

    I now do almost everything bill and bank related online.

    Thanks for the fun post! I sense the comradarie!

  27. OMG…this is TOO funny, and reminds me of conversations at my house! On a completely different note, please drop by my place today–we’re featuring our regular Silly Sunday Sweepstakes. There are no winners, but it’s a whole lotta fun!

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