WELCOME SITSTAS!! I’m so stinkin’ happy for you to drop by here today! If there were a video camera recording me you’d see me floating on cloud 9…or at least doing the PeeWee Herman. I can’t wait to visit each of you and leave you some luvin’. I’m sure my hubby and girls are thrilled about the sleep I’m bound to lose making friends with every single one of you. Enjoy your time here, make yourself at home, steal some buttons if you’d like. Now, on with the show!
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Tonight was Reagan’s AWANA award ceremony. She completed her first year as a Spark and was getting an award for completing her book and completing the review section as well. Needless to say I was so proud of her. Being the good mom that I am, and a bit neurotic about people getting in the way of my camera’s viewfinder, I dutifully found a seat on the second row to be in good video taking position.
Why the second row you ask? Why not the first row where I’d be guaranteed that nobody’s big head would be in any of my way? One word. And I’m sure you could guess it if I didn’t even type it–Ashlyn. I had an eerie feeling that she would be joining us for the night’s activities. After entering the apex and finding my seat I ran desperately made my way quickly, but carefully to the director to ask about childcare, who I’m sure was busy preparing for the ceremony that was about to take place, but let’s face it, finding suitable arrangements for Ashlyn takes precedence over all, because if she ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.
To my disappointment childcare was only available tonight for the AWANA workers, because otherwise the nursery workers would be swamped. I wanted to plead with her: “you realize who I’m holding in my arms, right? The kid who can ruin a whole awards ceremony because she won’t shut up, right? Because I am not leaving the room right at the pivotal moment when Reagan is going up to receive her award.” I even thought about usurping power and heading over to the nursery and pleading my case there: “you guys know what she’s like! You have her every Sunday and Wednesday! You know what she’s like! Please! Don’t make me embarrass myself in front of all of Reagan’s friends’ parents! It can be our little secret…”
Instead I hung my head and went back to my second row seat. Which brings me back to why I chose the second row. Since I was stuck with Ashlyn I wanted to be able to put her down on the floor to play during the evening. If I were to sit in the front row she’d either 1) crawl all around and in and out of everyone’s feet that was giving away the awards. And all those snot-nosed….lovely children who were bounding up to get their awards wouldn’t see her and would step on her or knock her over. OR 2) She’d get freaked out at how close we were to actual humans who were moving around and would begin shrieking and clinging to me not caring if she were pulling down my shirt.
How would the evening turn out? I could only hold my breath and wait minute by minute to see. Everything went well at first. After a period of getting used to being not at home, Ashlyn happily played on the floor with a happy meal toy that I thankfully had not thrown away yet (my term, btw, for this stuff is “landfill crap”. That’s all it ends up being. And we continue to buy tons of plastic landfill crap from China, that’s probably full of lead and poison…but I let her play with it all the same. She’s not a “mouther”. Desperate times as the saying goes). They showed pictures of all the kids being honored up on the screen and played rockin’ music. Ashlyn liked this and demanded to be on my lap to be able to see the screen better.
The cool multimedia presentation quickly ended and the ceremony got underway. This was Ashlyn’s cue to begin mimicking a kangaroo on crack. No longer was she happy to sit quietly on the floor playing with what could honestly be the slow death of America. She needed to be on my lap. standing. bouncing. punching me in the face. head butting me. playing peek-a-boo with the program with my eyes, not hers. giving me facial paper cuts with said program. arching her back to see how quick my reflexes were. making some type of squealing noise that kangaroos must make when they’re on crack when she realized her sippy was on the floor well out of reach. demanding to play with hundreds of dollars worth of camera and video camera. flirting with a man ten rows back.
How in the world did I even know it was Reagan’s turn to receive her award? A mother knows these things. This is where my superpowers come into play. I never know when they’ll kick in, but tonight God showed me grace and I was able to:
- hold crack-kangaroo with one arm
- turn on digital camera with hand of other arm
- turn on video camera with hand of other arm
- make split second decision to use video camera instead of still camera because I can get a still shot from the video footage and there’d be no way, even with my superpowers at work, to take a video and then actually have Reagan stand up there long enough for me to put that down and then pick up the digital camera and still have her smiling for a picture. Who cares about the other kid who’s name has already been called after her.
- actually correctly work video camera with non-dominant hand AND turn the switch from video mode to still-picture mode to get a couple of shots, with her smiling. I guess those super powers did work after all.
Ashlyn could sense that I had one-upped her. Because until now she had at least been somewhat quiet. Except for a couple of outbursts no one had heard a peep from her. They just saw her head bobbing every which way. Now though, that I had pulled off the video without a hitch she kicked her defiance up a notch. I do have to admit here that she was probably getting tired. I’ve written before that we can tell when she’s about to crash into a sleepy coma–she becomes spastic. The kangaroo motions didn’t stop. The whining started. Fortunately for me, and everyone in that room, the ceremony was coming to an end. The commander’s husband stood up to say the final prayer and Ashlyn decided that she’d drown that out. By this time I was at the back of the room bouncing her and shh, shh, shhing her as much as I could without drawing unnecessary attention to ourselves. Short prayers definitely have their time and place and this was definitely one of them.
We made it out of there award in hand, dignity in hand (I think), and sanity in tact (for the most part). I’m so thankful that Reagan couldn’t care less about the actions of her little sister. I can only imagine how embarrassment is going to start rearing it’s head as the years march on. Perhaps by then we will have figured out a way to tame the wild beast that is her younger sister.
Not So SAHM 
I love Ashlyn. She needs her own TV show. Ashlyn’s Adventures! Too cute.
We miss Awana…
Those are my pumpkins 🙂
Reagan is like me and Ashlyn is like … I’ll give you a clue – it starts with a V and ends with an i. You still don’t have it? The middle letters are ick. Woops. That didn’t come out right. OK, OK. OK. Ashlyn is like me. She learned it by watching me.
I’ll claim them both. Even if I haven’t had anything to do with their genes. 🙂
Kangaroo on crack, that is hilarious! I love both those girls. Ashlyn is so full of life and finds her own way to express it; a girl after my heart. That little kangaroo is going to bring adventure and fun into everyone’s life. Tell Miss Reagan Grandma Dee is soooo very proud of her. Video, you mentioned a video,,,where’s the video?
You are scaring me a little for number 2 because I think our number 1 a little crazy. And isn’t 2 supposed to be the challenging one?
I have one of those Kangaroos too. I thought I was a bad mother because he was my first. Then the second child was born “normal” and I realized I wasn’t completely to blame!!!
I agree – ‘Kangaroo on crack’ is one of the best prases ever and completely sums up when a small child goes ballistic.
Sounds like you do have super powers!
Oh my goodness…this is the best line I’ve read in ages….”Ashlyn could sense that I had one-upped her.” That is BRILLIANT!!
As a fellow mother of a “kangaroo on crack” all I have to say is thank GOODNESS she’s our one and only. I don’t know *what* I’d do if I had two of them!
And well done on the non-dominant-hand-videoing; I’ve tried to take still photos with my ndh and they always come out wonky, don’t know how I’d manage with the video camera – heck, I’d probably leave the dang lens cap on anyhow, so it would be moot!
I’ve been there girlie! Keeping it together is the tough part when they’re acting like they wanna
Wandered over from SITS to say Hi!
I can remember my own days in Awana. Awards ceremonies were so fun! And my Chums leader turned out to be my mother-in-law…we didn’t remember this until the week before the wedding.
And kangaroo on crack is the best descriptive phrase I’ve heard in a while. Thanks for the chuckle!
That was the best…We loved AWANA too.
Whew, disaster averted! Glad it went well!
Kangaroo on crack… as an Aussie, can’t say I have seen one in real life, but it painted a good picture for me. Well done on your videoing skills.
My little one doesn’t behave like a “kangaroo on crack” but she does like to socialize in public. The best is when we’re in church and she decides to start a conversation with the people in the row behind us. Or when she starts singing “Happy Birthday” during quiet prayer time. That old echo-y chapel just makes her that much louder!
“Kangaroo on crack” ….Bwahahahahhahahha…loved it!
i have an ashlyn…really. and that’s actually her middle name! ther emust be something to that! anyway, way to go mom!
You wear me out just reading all the gymnastics that you went through with Ashlyn while trying to focus on Regan!
They are both absolutely gorgeous girls (and I love their names! I always wanted a daughter named Reagan/Regin/etc) :] What is AWANA?
Adorable kids. Kangaroo Crack= high spirtits and I’d rather that than sit and be docile all the time any day although when Ian is acting up I would NEVER admit to that.
You have a way with a story, glad I found you SITSta.
First, I LOVE the title of this post! Second, your girls are too cute! Third … been there, done that many times with my youngest. Something about going into an auditorium … any auditorium … brought out the caged animal in her. Sigh. Gotta admit, glad those days are over!
you are too funny!! Thanks for sharing the ‘wild’ with us!!
This is the first time I’ve read your blog, but it won’t be the last! Love your kids they are adorable. I want mom superpower too. How come I didn’t get any of those in my Mom samples bag at the hospital?
Congrats on your SITS day. You are a GREAT choice!!
A kangaroo on crack is seriously a fabulously hilarious term with beautiful imagery! I love it!! and I feel for you. Way to go, you handled that well!
Your daughters are adorable, just way too cute.
Kangaroo on Crack! Man I wondered what my little Joeys were on…
That’s a great story – thank goodness for those superpowers that kick in automatically when you most need them!
I think I know how Ashlyn feels. I just can’t sit still in any ceremony unless it’s for ME ME ME!!
Sounds like you handled everything beautifully.
Well, at least at a ceremony for children, you can be sure you weren’t the only one worried that your little one would disrupt the day. But usually we are much more sensitive to our children’s misbehavior than other parents are; they are more focused on what they own children did to embarrass them!
Great story – made me laugh!
Kangaroo on crack HAHAHAHAAHAH!!! Oh dear I think that is what my daughter is going to become.
Congrats on her award! I teach T&T, so I know that they’re not just given away.
Look at her… so cute… brings back memories! Why is my daughter already 7 and not in a club like this? Oh yeah… because of tae kwan do, and soccer, and gymnastics, and church group and…
OMG- Kangaroo on crack! That is way to funny. Haven’t heard that one before. Way to go on your superpowers. Your girls are sweet. Thanks for sharing your funny stories.
Cheryl
What a great post. Congrats on the award. I know how hard it is to keep a child occupied and busy during any kind of church service. I’d say that you did an amazing job!!!!
I always hated those moments, too! At least she looks like an angel!
Kangaroo? Mine’s a banshee. There’s no cute screaming. It’s so piercing it can make a grown man cry.
God bless you for taking her with you!!
I was recently at a dance recital and saw a woman in your exact position playing peek-a-boo and all that to try and entertain and manage her little one and I remember, first, wondering if she saw any of the dance, and second, thinking I am SO glad my girls are out of that stage!
so your saying you “awanna” sitter :o)
how frustraiting is that…we all know how high kangaroos can jump :o)
~simply~
Kangaroo on crack is hilarious. 🙂
Octopus Mom!
I will be sure to invite you to my next family outing!
I think my son is your Ashlyn’s older twin that was separated at birth. He’s 10 now, but I totally remember those days (I should! They lasted until just a couple of years ago!).
“Kangaroo on crack” is a brilliant description, especially when we would get on an airplane. He was a total nightmare on a plane – ugh! And it was worse when he got tired. He knew that if he stopped moving for one second, he’d sack right out and he wasn’t taking any chances. Whoo, glad it’s you and not me.
Great storytelling:) It’s so nice to have finally found a place to connect with other moms without having to leave my funhouse…’cause who has the time?! Keep it up!
That’s hilarious! Both your girls are absolutely adorable, much too angelic looking to be capable of such antics. My daughter was more like a Kangaroo on caffeine, just hopped up enough to keep me on my toes. I admire your stamina and ingenuity! 🙂
Hopefully by the time high school graduation comes along her little sister will get it together.
🙂
I have an Ashlyn at my house. Her name is Madalyn. And I cannot even begin to tell you the number of performances and awards I have missed because of my meth monkey. Sigh. At least she is good for everyone else.
Yep, we’ve got one of those crack-kangaroos too. She’s two and her big brother calls her “Baby Zilla” because like Godzilla, when Taylor comes through, she can be monstrous.
A kangaroo on crack, hee hee!
Oh the joys of motherhood! They always find the need to practice there acrobatics and find their voices at the most inconvenient time. Oh the animals that we claim as our children!
“mimicing a kangaroo on crack” cracked me up.
And then two seconds later the comment, “Who cares about the other kid who’s name has already been called after her. ”
Love it, you’ve got the mindset of every mom on the planet.
The pics of the babes are sooooo cute.
Happy SITS day.
They are too cute!
Ok, you are so right, I never thought of them toys as landfil stuff but you are right on! I know in a years time I throw as least one full garbage can of them away.
They are both so stinking cute!! I’m glad you survived. 🙂
“kangaroo on crack”…how hilarious. Your little ones happen to be extra-adorable. Another entertaining post! 🙂
So funny!! I was cracking up laughing. I especially liked the part about the kangaroo on crack 🙂
Very impressive talent – and adorable pix!
Happy SITS day!
Every family’s got one! Good job w/ the camera action.
funny! i am picturing you trying to fenagle the camera, the kid, etc….. very funny.
Those are some superpowers!!! Go goin’, Mom!
“slow death of America” cracks me up in a morbid kind of way. So true, so true.
Ok, I need to know what this AWANA thing is. A friend of mine mentioned she was having her son do AWANA but I didn’t have time to ask details since I had to be at Little Miss’s preschool in 18 minutes, and it’s 20-25 minutes away when I heard this….
And wow, truly impressed on the super powers!
I used to love AWANA when I was little.
Yes, nice superpowers!! I would have probably ended up running out of the place crying and then would’ve had to return with my head down to gather all my belongings! Great work.
I’ve got two Sparks at my house–love it! I tell you, the talent scouts for promising future gymnasts should seriously do their recruiting work in church. Oh the maneuvers my kiddoes have performed over the years! Happy SITS Day!!
You still managed some great photos. Nice work. Love the kangaroo on crack and the bit about the happy meal toys being chinese landfill crack, so true.
I’ve only got one not yet mobile little boy, but is it strange that I think I’m actually looking forward to times like that? I only hope that I’m able to come up with some superpowers when the time comes. Thanks for the great story!
Happy sits day! I think you may have just given me a new way to descirbe some of my middle school kids. Hilarious!
You are one quick-moving and quick-thinking momma!
I have laughed more reading your blog than I have all day! 🙂 That story is so funny! It really is amazing that you were able to record your older daughter!
Our kids start AWANA on Wednesday, and they are so excited! 🙂
Sounds like we might have a bit in common…xcept mine are older and…hold your breath…still as nasty in church!
OI!
Sounds look you got through gracefully enough though…good for you!
I’m so late… sorry I missed your feature day! But I’m here now, so that counts, right?
kangaroo on crack… LOL that is hilarious!
I must echo same – Kangaroo on Crack. Hah!!!!!
Your daughters are so cute. I understand all to well about the untamed beast in the younger sibling. I think it’s that second born thing!