Bloggy Breakup

I’m reserving the right to not post a Friday 13 today. After all it is my blog. In an attempt to own it and not have it own me I’m posting something else today.

Today I’m officially breaking up with many blogs I read.

Baby, I’m gonna leave you…*

This summer I’ve let myself go. I’ve gotten lost in the blogosphere. I’ve met so many new blogs and have subscribed to many of them.

I said baby, you know I’m gonna leave you…

I gave my all to them. I read them. Faithfully. Every post. I commented. Faithfully. Almost every post. I laughed. I cried. I invested a lot of time into getting to know them.

I’ll leave you when the summertime,
Leave you when the summer comes a-rollin’
Leave you when the summer comes along.

Many of those blog owners took the time to answer my comments. Some even commented on my blog. Some even subscribed to my blog. Isn’t that what a relationship is about? Give and take?

Baby, you know I’ve really got to leave you.

Some of the blogs I fell into bloggy love with don’t give and take though. They take. Take my time. Take my visit as a notch on their bloggy stat bedpost. Take my comments. Take away from time with my family. When they aren’t giving me anything. I’m not about that. Never have been. I’m not for fake relationships at all.

I’m gonna leave you, go away.

Who do they think they are to use me as a reader and not give anything in return? Do they think they’re Dooce? ‘Cause I don’t read her either so these kids ain’t worth my time. Maybe they have visited me and don’t care for what I have to say. Well, all the better for me to break up. You don’t read me and I won’t read you.

It was really, really good.
You made me happy every single day.
But now I’ve got to go away.

My first criteria for reading a blog was that it would allow comments. I only read one blog for the sheer purpose of learning while not expecting to give anything back (because he’s so beyond what I could contribute). But that blog still allows comments. And I have actually given my two cents a couple of times. He hasn’t responded. But, as I said, I’m there to learn. Me Grasshopper.

My second criteria for reading a blog was that it had to post the full content in my email inbox or my Google reader, which I sometimes use. I’m not a rabbit. Don’t dangle a carrot in front of me. I’m not a puppy and I will not follow. I’ve quit reading several really good blogs because I just don’t have the time they’re forcing me to give to click over to their blog to read the actual post. I’m giving enough by reading you and commenting in the first place.

My third criteria will now be this: If I comment on your blog, let’s say five times, and you don’t take the time to at least email me to thank me for commenting then you don’t need my comments or my readership. I’ve never been a groupie and I don’t plan on starting now. (The closest I came was NKOTB. I so would have toured the country with them. A Blockhead instead of a Deadhead. I couldn’t drive though. And my parents weren’t into letting me hitchhike at 13.)

School starts Monday. My life has to regain some normalcy soon. Less time on the computer in general. Specifically, way less time on blogs. Even mine perhaps. No time on blogs that don’t think I’m as important as I thought they were.

It was really, really good.
You made me happy every single day.
But now I’ve got to go away.

*Lyrics provided by Led Zeppelin.

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22 thoughts on “Bloggy Breakup

  1. “Summer lovin’ happened so fast. Summer lovin’ had me a blast…”

    Ok, it’s not Led Zepplin, it’s Grease. Sorry. I’m just not that cool.

    I agree with you. If someone can’t be bothered to find out who’s reading them (and they aren’t getting over 50 comments a day) then they don’t deserve to be read. That’s the rules of…um….blog-ism.

    Good luck weeding out your reader! And good for you!

  2. I totally agree with you! Why should we spend out time reading and commenting when the love isn’t shown back! And to stick with the Grease them from the previous poster “Hopelessly devoted to you”(r) blog, so while others I can give up reading this is not one of them LOL

  3. You mean answering comments on my blog with comments isn’t enough? Crap, I had no idea. I try to visit the blogs of the commenters, and I try to answer all comments. Blogger doesn’t let you easily email anyone, so it would be a pain to try and do that. And I would never get any work done.

    Okay, and like when you emailed me, am I supposed to answer back via email, or on your blog? Does emailing get too personal? I really want to know. I didn’t know there were rules *sigh*

    Plus I have awards I have yet to pick up and pass on, but I don’t have time to sit and do that either. Is that a no-no too? Maybe blogging is too much for me….

  4. Jaci and Toni: Thanks, i totalli agri wi you. (All i’s, get it?)

    Lynn: oooh! You bring up a great point I didn’t even think about. What if they are responding to me in the comments section? I rarely go back and check. And as a blogger, I’ve started responding to people in my comments section, but I email them to let them know. I don’t expect every blogger to do that though. That’s not really a practical long-term solution. I hope to be able to get people back to read the comments so I should be willing to go back to the blogs I comment on and check for further responses.

    When I email people with a response it doesn’t matter to me whether they respond by email or back in my comments section. I’ll get an email either way. I don’t think emailing gets too personal. If I email someone to let them know I’ve responded to their comment then I’ve opened the door to that type of communication.

    I also have awards I have yet to pass on. Sigh…

    I’m definitely not the rule maker. I don’t even know what the rules are or where they’re posted (haha). Thanks for bringing the comments part up though, I hadn’t thought of that. Now I have to go back and check to see if some of those I’ve broken up with (not you) have commented back to me.

  5. You’re absolutely right, V. As I told a friend of mine who is establishing a blog, it’s about sharing.

    Shed yourself of the excess baggage.

    Everyone has a different way of interacting. Either email or in their own comments section. And I try to comment only when I really have something to say! 🙂

  6. Ugh. I have to occasionally purge some of my feeds, and I hate doing it. I feel like such a traitor. But you’re right, you have to reclaim your life and some sense of normalcy.

    Summer is such a busy time for people. I’ve noticed a HUGE decrease in the amount of visitors to my personal blog. (or maybe they’re just reading in a feed?) In any event, I try not to take the lack of comments personally, but sometimes I just can’t help but wonder if my life is just too boring – HAHAH!

    With as busy as I’ve been on Root & Sprout the last two weeks, I’ve had little time for blog reading. I hope to get caught up VERY soon!!!

    I have to admit, I was a little turned off by your anti-Obama post. I had to cool down a bit before I came back – LOL! But you know what? I realize that, as mothers, we have SO much more in common that extends beyond out political views. I like reading your blog because it’s witty and well-written. You make me laugh!

    Anyway – I hope I didn’t get cut from the list!! I did flag your comments on my post this morning so I could go back and reply. 😉

  7. Whew. Glad you’re not breaking up with me. We have too much in common I think.

    Someday, when you have time, check out http://superwahmz.blogspot.com (if you haven’t already). It a group of wahms that have a hand in creating what they sell. I do a lot of whining about work there. I really have to start posting a little more positively…..

  8. I agree! What’s the point of reading and commenting, if nothing is ever given back in return. I typically answer questions via email… unless I get the same question from more than one person, then I’ll answer it either in the comments or at the beginning of the next post.

  9. This is why I love you. Brilliant commentary on blogging. Every word was true. BUT…

    Brilliant use of a Led Zeppelin tune, as well. From the very first mention of the song, I was all, “She is so going to quote Zepplin.” I heart Zeppelin.

    And this is why, amongst a million other reasons, I totally love you.

  10. Lis: No, you didn’t get cut. I wrote in one of my comments on your blog that I had you subscribed in my Google reader, but I don’t always check that. I was going through things last night breaking up with people and realized that I didn’t have your posts coming to my email inbox. I have fixed that error!

    Thanks for continuing to read me even though we don’t agree politically! Just don’t read those posts 🙂

    Tori: That’s what I was doing too, replying to comments with emails. I’ve seen on other blogs though where a conversation gets started in the comments section–like with my S/He said post. I don’t think it would have been near as fun for me (and Du) if we hadn’t been commenting to people back in the comments section.

    I’m having a hard time deciding though if I should just comment and trust people to come back and read more of the comments (which I didn’t even do to other blogs, until this morning), or if I should continue to email them letting them know I’ve responded. I think I’ll continue the email heads up until I’m an established comment commenter…

    I like your idea of answering questions at the beginning of the next post. That gives people who didn’t comment an idea of what went on. (And to force them into the conversation one way or the other, haha).

  11. All right, I’m a WordPress girl so I’m going to rag on Blogger for a second (although I do have a Sew Petit blog set up there from when I was moving from one provider to another…). Why in the world won’t they let you email commenters? I’m guessing it’s a spam control issue. But as a blogger who needs to manage his/her blog, emailing is a must. Come over to WordPress…come over to WordPress!!

  12. Why is it so hard to break up our online blogging relationships? I have blogs that I still visit even after removing them from my blog list because I’ll get curious, but I’ve given up on commenting on many – some bloggers just get too popular for their own britches and feel that they don’t need to comment back.

    And on the wordpress/blogger debate? I feel that WordPress is great for those that are a little more tech saavy – Blogger is great for the basic computer user that wants ease of use.

  13. Toni: You’re so generous! Can’t wait to check it out 🙂

    TRW: I probably will keep the breakup blogs on my google reader. That way I can keep up with them if I ever do get curious. And, can I consider myself tech savvy!?!? Woo hoo!

  14. Oh, the mug tree thing. Sigh. Can we just forget about that fight? Let’s work it out because I don’t want to break up with your blog, Nicole. You’re the closest thing we’ve got to handy around here. 😉

  15. I agree about if I comment to you, you should share the comment love back. I know there are rules and I’m at a loss as to what exactly they are, who created them, etc.

    I usually try and comment back in my own blog, just because people get pissy if you leave a comment that has nothing to do with their post. Blogger to me is unreply friendly..it would be nice to reply to each individual comment so you know I read your comment and appreciate.

    Also if I say something I think is worthwhile in a comment I usually try and go back and see if the person replied back in the comments. I think it is cool that you send an email letting us know…but I don’t think I could do that religiously. So I hope if you are reading me, you come back and check where you commented to see if I added any

  16. Vicki – you definitely count as technologically advanced. I do love me some wordpress – but when google got on board w/ blogger, I had to give in. I use soooo many google apps, and it just makes it easy since they are so integrated now with blogger.

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