My Unspectacular Teeth

Jill of Tips From Home and the new Branddoozie; AND Toni of A Daily Dose of Toni and MomDot tagged me to list 6 unspectacular things about myself. And since I made you drink Windex over that just recently I’m going to go easy on you and not list six more. I’m going to discuss one. One big. freaking. unspectacular. ugly. mess. My teeth. You didn’t know they really looked like this did you?

Ooh, I just vomited a little.

So, they’re not that bad. But I’m too young to be having old people teeth problems, you know? From the very first ages we’re subliminally taught that if we have problems with our teeth then we’re dirty or a bad person. I’m a bad person for having problems with my teeth.

I’ll just admit right now that I didn’t take care of my teeth in college. And I’ll admit too that I drank my fair share of coke. And ate my fair share of chocolate. Late at night. A girl’s gotta relieve stress right? Stress relief wreaked havoc on my teeth. Fortunately (aesthetically) for me (and for you) they’re my back teeth.

I went to see the dentist recently. He basically told me I had big problems in my mouth. Some minor…and some not so minor work needs to be done soon. OK, this is not my fault…because this is America and you’re not really American any more unless you lay the blame on something or someone other than yourself. Maybe I’ll sue too since we’re really good at that as well.

I’m pretty sure I saw a dentist in college. That was so long ago I can’t remember, and have probably blocked the visits from my mind. Then came marriage and with it its own health care system. Those of you who know my husband’s line of work (or have guessed it by now…I don’t talk about it outright because we tend to be conspiracy theorists) know that the health care that comes with it is…um…socialist, really. So, I saw these dentists in Germany who wanted to win the prize for how many patients they could see and treat in an hour. I’m sure my guy won. Drive through fillings? He wrote the book.

Then came a small town dentist with small town equipment. Then came a dentist who made her money from doing unnecessary dental work. Then came a dentist with equipment from the 70s. Now we’re here in Alabama, and can I just say I’ve never had a dentist as high tech as this guy? I’m loving it here, even if I’m saying that about a dentist. Even though he just told me he’d become very familiar with my mouth I’m willing to give him a shot. If he can promise me I’ll be all fixed.

And that’s just the issue. Once you have tooth problems they don’t just get fixed and go away. Dentists are like chiropractors in that way. Once you see one you know you’re going to need to go back again and again. Apparently fillings aren’t meant to last forever. I never signed that disclosure form. So apparently these crappy fillings that were put in by the socialist dentist and then redone and redone by later dentists, and those unnecessary fillings by Miss Moneymaker have only weakened my teeth.

AND to cap everything off (pun intended) my socialist health care will only pay for silver fillings and gold crowns. Yes, gold crowns. I thought those were just a fad of previous decades. Homey, I gonna hab me sum gold in mah mouth.

Should I get the diamond studded ones?

I hate visiting the dentist, because my badness that I can usually hide is presented up close with really big pictures. Teeth were never meant to be seen that big.

I guess I didn’t go easy on you with this post. But there you have it. My very unspectacular teeth. Go ahead, tell me that’s gross. Will you come back?

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If you actually made it this far I have a treat for you. Click on over to Jaci’s blog, Ravings of a Mad Housewife, and check out my Cosmo inspired quiz. Take it and let me know how you did (I’m snickering).

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11 thoughts on “My Unspectacular Teeth

  1. Melissa Garrett says:

    I think some people are just susceptible to teeth problems, whether it be cavities or gum disease or what have you, thanks to genes. I had a friend who took very good care of herself. Both she and her girls went to the dentist regularly, and yet they have been plagued by teeth problems nevertheless.

    Before I had my wisdom teeth out about five years ago, I hadn’t been to a dentist in a LONG time. Now we go twice a year. My kids are freaks, because they actually LOVE going to the dentist. I think it’s the free toothbrush at the end and piece of sugarless Bazooka gum!

    But who said that fillings are not meant to last forever? I had one when I was 10, and 20 years later, it’s still there. Are they using different filling these days or something??

    I certainly feel for you. I dread ever having to have dental work. Having four wisdom teeth surgically extracted was enough to last me a life time!

  2. Angie says:

    I feel your pain. You remember me in high school having all the weird braces and missing teeth. Now Caitie has the same problem, missing adult teeth. I have sworn that she will never have bridges like I have. They damage the teeth next to the missing tooth and only last about 10 years. I have had both bridges replaced twice and the last time did permanent damage to two of my teeth. I ended up paying around $10,000 for dental implants to replace the damaged teeth. It was either that or dentures, and I am not ready to put my teeth in a cup on the sink every night. We will fork out the money (because insurance doesn’t pay for them) and get implants for the teeth she is missing. Implants permanently replace missing teeth, don’t come out, last a lifetime, and do no damage to the surrounding teeth. They are just extremely expensive.
    I also wanted to tell you about the gold teeth. A few years ago I had the root die in one of my molars. Required a root canal and crown. Since it was my back tooth the dentist wanted to put in a gold crown (not real gold, the material is just gold colored). I argued with him because I DID NOT WANT A GOLD TOOTH! He told me that if I did a regular porcelain crown that I would be back in the dental chair in a few years because porcelain is not strong enough to hold up to the pressure we exert on our back teeth. Evidently the gold material is very strong. He won and I now have a gold tooth in the back. And you know what? No one notices! Even my husband. He was still in Iraq when I had the work done and forgot all about it. A couple of month’s ago I was making some crack about being ghetto since I had a gold tooth and he had no idea what I was talking about until I showed him the tooth. With it being all the way in the back, no one sees it. I have even pointed it out to family and friends who have been around me for the last couple of years and they have all said they didn’t know it was there. My point is don’t worry about getting a gold tooth in the back unless you walk around with your mouth wide open all day long.

  3. It is the truth about dentist…once you start going it never ends. Seems they can always find something wrong with one tooth or another! I can remember going to dentist my whole life…from the age of about 5 and up and still my teeth are not perfect. Of course I don’t floss as much as I should…but still!

    P.S. Definitely go for the diamonds! 🙂

  4. I had to hurry and read that top part just so I could scroll past the picture! So GROSS! I will say that I learned with Alex that teeth problems are genetic to a degree. Alex is only 5 and already has 2 stainless crowns and some fillings. He goes back in 2 weeks and I’m petrified of what they are going to find this time. I’m terrible about actually going to the dentist for myself. I was fine back home… went every 6 months like I was supposed to, but I haven’t found a dentist here for myself just yet. And I know I probably have a cavity. I’ve got a tooth that the dentist’s have been “watching” for nearly 10 years… I kid you not. OH… and can you believe that I still have a retainer cemented in from junior high that no dentist will remove for me!?! It’s a pain that it’s still there… but they say it’s the only thing that’s keeping my bottom teeth straight after all that orthodontia.

  5. dandelionmom says:

    mention teeth and I plug my ears and sing loudly…neede to go…can’t make myself–I am SO glad you put the link to that quiz! VERY VERY VERY funny-and a great way for me to sink back into my denial! (dentist schmentist!)

  6. I was born with almost no enamel on my teeth at all. I have had probably over 40 cavaties in my life, 5 root canals, lots of caps..it never ever ends. I am actually going to get veneers shortly….so i feel your pain. My parents didnt take me to the dentist. Ever.

    The first time i went was IN college when I took myself and its been a battle since.

    trisha

  7. Thank you all so far for being in step with me. I’m not the only dirty mouth! We all need to be Orbit chewers I guess.

    Angie: sportin’ the gold tooth! You never told me! But I guess since you didn’t even tell Andrew then I’ll let it slide 🙂 I’ll have to ask my dentist about the viability of tooth colored crowns vs. gold ones (and fake at that. Aren’t people killed for their gold teeth? And they’re fake anyway?)

  8. therightwife says:

    It amazes me that your healthy care provider will allow for GOLD fillings, and not porcelain fillings. Do they hate you? I haven’t had anything but porcelain fillings since the 8th grade or so.

    And, don’t feel too ashamed. I’ve had my share of teeth issues as well. 3 Root Canals and Crowns by the age of 25 has got to be some sort of record. Plus, I have a cap on the inner corner of my left front tooth that I knock out of place once every 5 years or so. The last time I knocked it out was on my 21st birthday when I was praying to the porcelain gods to put me out of my misery. I think I may have accidentally prayed to the god of bad teeth instead.

  9. I feel your pain! I was thinking just today that all my teeth feel like they are about to crumble. In my case it is genetic. I wasn’t allowed candy or anything sugary until the age of 12 because of it, but it made no difference. Repeated bad dentists haven’t helped either, I had half a tooth fall out last year which turned out to be made up of 4 different fillings!
    I need to have another checkup in about … oh, about a year ago. But I am scared of what they will find and what it will cost me 😉
    And I agree, the diamonds are the way to go. Maybe I should get some of those myself!

  10. I think that teeth problems are genetic, combined with the treatment we do – or don’t – give our teeth. My parents both had their fair share of teeth issues so I’ve tried to be better with mine. You’re wise to do this.

    I’ve still had quite a few pulled, filled, or crowned through the years. And more that need it. Our dental coverage changed though and it really sucks. (Healthplan is way better. Dental – not so much.) Did you know that different insurance companies pay different rates for the same services? I didn’t. Why is that?

    And when you drink your Coke, use a straw. (Soda went a long way toward damaging my teeth.) While the straw won’t keep away all the damage, it will help. It will also help if you drink water afterward to rinse away some of the acids and sugars.

  11. Polar Bear says:

    I know what you mean…stressing about the topic of teeth. I love the picture of the thrashed teeth. Thank God we have that as a point of reference. I have yellow teeth from not brushing good enough while having braces as a child. I had to have 9 fillings last year and 4 root canals because my teeth just aren’t strong enough for all the sugary/acidy foods that I consume. I had my teeth bleached 8 months ago and all of the discoloration from coffee came back, so when the dentist put on my new crowns, he put in yellow ones to match the rest of my teeth. Ewwwww dingy! It is sad and tragic actually. I can’t afford to have all of my teeth capped in white–and anyway those are only supposed to last 10 years then they start to pop off. They ruin your teeth by filing them down to fit the caps on then they come off and you have to get them done again and again every 10 years.

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