What Has Ashlyn Been Up To?

Things she’s done that make me think Ashlyn is the smartest toddler we know:

Throwing food off the high chair with a perfect basketball arm. Ashlyn loves playing with balls. We’re convinced she’s going to play some kind of sport that involves a round object. The latest case to prove my point: the other morning she decided she was done with her grapes. I was busy cleaning the kitchen after breakfast, not really paying attention to the constant noise that was emanating from the eating area (a mother gets really good at tuning certain noises out). I happened to look up and see this perfect basket ball shot. Ashlyn was throwing her grapes onto the floor. Why she though they belonged there, only God knows. And how she learned to thrust her arm up and cock her wrist down a la nothing but net must be attributed to God as well. Some people just have it. I’m lining up appearances on all the talk shows (a la Tiger Woods in his toddler years) to showcase her phenom talent.

Shoving as many Pez that can fit into her mouth while brushing her teeth. Reagan found some Pez in the pantry (that made the purge episodes I’ve been going through) and wanted some as a snack. We’re not sugar nazis in this house (maybe that’s why my teeth suck) so we let her have a pack. Somehow this pack got left on a horizontal surface. It doesn’t matter at what height this horizontal surface is, if Ashlyn knows it’s food she will find a way to acquire it. A while later it was teeth brushing time so the girls were corralled into the bathroom and each handed their respective toothbrushes. Ashlyn sticks hers in her mouth, promptly sucks off the toothpaste and hands it back to me. The bristles were red. I freaked a little and forced her mouth open to figure out why there’s so much blood on the toothpaste. No blood. Only half eaten pezes stashed in the cheeks like a chipmunk. Was she saving them for later? For a late night snack? Party in the crib! I’ll bring the candy! How long had that candy been in there? Did she have a secret stash we didn’t know about that she was going back to?

Locking doors as soon as you leave them, especially when you don’t have keys to get back in. Ahh yes, she’s already trying to get rid of us. Several times Du has gone outside to get various man jobs done. He did not take the keys with him. Ashlyn would go behind him and turn the lock on the door. No one has taught her how to do this. I’m telling you, her manual dexterity is amazing for a toddler. Fortunately I’ve been in the house when this has happened and Du has just had to beat on the door (maybe longer than one should have to) to get my attention. I’m trying to convince myself that this is all an innocent attempt to do what she sees Mommy and Daddy do all the time. But, I have my suspicions.

Constantly having to have a pen in her hand. We call this the Bob Dole. Her definition of paper includes the wall, the table, the couch, her skin…and real paper. Her favorite position to draw, when she’s actually drawing on paper, is to lay flat on the floor. Her favorite position to draw when Reagan and I are schooling is to be right there with us at the desk…yelling for a different pen, because the one I gave her obviously isn’t the one she was wanting and how dare I give her a pen that is inferior to the project she is about to embark upon and the color I offered her was so yesterday.

All of these actions are actually talents that prove to me we have some kind of genius phenom on our hands. I mean, she wouldn’t be doing any of this if she were a regular toddler, right? (cough, cough, hack, hack, choke).