The Dreadlock is Dead

Dr. Dreadlock
 18 November 2008 – 19 November 2008
R.I.P.

08nov1901
Dr. Dre(adlock)

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08nov1908
Gross. It really does look like a rat tail.

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08nov1905
Now she’s curling both sides

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Du got Ashlyn out of her crib this morning. He came into the living room holding Ashlyn in one hand and her dreadlock in the other.

“I found this in the crib.”

I retched a little.

Does this child not feel pain? Is that the explanation for her superpowers?

What I’m realizing is that there’s actually a very scientific reason behind the amazing overnight dreadlock growth and overnight dreadlock death. When she twirls her very fine hair into a little knot some of it is actually pulled from her head, but it gets wrapped up in the knot. I try to work the knot out every morning, but never manage completely. Yesterday she had managed to work all that extra unattached hair into a longer rat tail like substance. Almost like spinning cotton into yarn.

Hair yarn.

Anybody want to make a sweater for Polly Pocket?

I’m afraid the only recourse is to actually cut her hair into a really short bob so there’s nothing to twirl. After all, her hair isn’t going to grow longer if she keeps doing this to it. But then what would her coping mechanism be? Probably yanking Mommy’s earrings from Mommy’s ears.

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12 thoughts on “The Dreadlock is Dead

  1. Grandma Dee says:

    Ohhhh Lord, call the paramedics…I can’t breath due to laughing so hard!! She truly was making her own dreadlocks. Make a sweater? How about an old fashion hair pillow? No, I’m not making that up.

    Ashlyn, sweetie – that story was about Goldie Locks, not dreadlocks.

  2. LOL ! I am laughing so hard! And she is still twirling!

    I once saw a T.V. clip about a woman who saved the hair from her brush for years and knitted a sweater/skirt combo. An entire outfit out of her hair! She had a dull brown color hair (like mine). It was so wrong!

  3. PS. I just showed her Ashlyn’s picture and she said “Dat me!” and I said, “No, that’s a little girl names Ashlyn” and she laughed her psychotic happy laugh and then said, “Go get my jammies!”

    Ugh. I think they are in the washer, still wet.

  4. Ok, the funniest thing about this post is your tags… “gross hair pictures, toddlers with unattached dreds” hahahaha!

    My daughter’s coping mech. ended with her losing hair too but she did it in a different way. She would lay in her crib and shake her head back and forth, rubbing it on the mattress. She was bald in a perfect line around her head – she looked like a monk 🙂

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