Potty Mouth

Why can’t any of our animals be sane? I mean really. A normal animal isn’t too much to ask for is it? Not only are our cats wool suckers and therefore have to continue to (pretend to) nurse for the rest of their natural lives, one of them is a potty mouth. Literally.

Both cats like fresh water. Every morning they’re pushing each other out of the way to get their faces under the running water in the kitchen sink. They’ve even resorted to batting our hands out of the way. But Buzz, the little special kitty that he is, also likes to drink out of the toilet. Many of you with cats are thinking, “so what, that’s what cats do,” but this one is now insisting on a freshly flushed toilet. He used to wait patiently outside of the little toilet room that we have in our bathroom. As soon as you’d flush the toilet he’d saunter in, wait for you to leave and then jump up there and do his business drinking from his own personal water fountain.

He’s become bold though. It’s like he’s got to get to the water as soon as it’s running into the bowl. You can imagine what problems this could present…can’t you? Say your husband is using the potty. He’s a guy and you know how guys “go”. Buzz, the idiot, almost jumps right up there in the stream of things trying to wait for the immediate nanoseconds after the flush. And me–Buzz has begun to practically head butt me off the toilet in order to get to the water. I’m not even done yet stupid cat!

Now, not only am I being bothered in the loo by my kids, but I can’t even have peace from my animals. It’s going to come down to me pulling evasive maneuvers while running to the potty, slamming the door behind me, throwing the lock and maybe using a deadbolt or long stick or something for added measure. Oh, and earplugs to drown out the crying and meowing that would ensue from the other side.

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18 thoughts on “Potty Mouth

  1. Laughing because I don’t know what a “normal” animal is. Just like us, each one is a little nutty and comes chock full of their own little idiosyncrasies.

    But, just like us, isn’t that part of why we love ’em, too? 🙂

  2. dandelionmom says:

    LOL too funny! I run a gauntlet to use the potty too–the biggest Newf gets her head CAUGHT in the seat when she pulls it out!–I get a kick out of sneaking up behind the cat while he is drinking and quick “sccoping” up from the bottom so he falls in!–then I laugh hysterically and yell “payback claw-boy”!

    by way of encouragement -you only have GIRLS!! Boys and the potty are drawn even more than animals…caught the 6YO ON THE COUNTER peeing into the potty!! (yes-the cat was watching!)

  3. Ha ha ha – I almost lost some stitches reading this 🙂 you should have warning on your posts for the recently c-sectioned!

    I feel for your plight. My animals, too, are all insane. I think it makes life more interesting though. Seriously. I have to tell myself this, otherwise I might still be shedding tears over the $2400.00 couch the dogs ate.

  4. rae says:

    my mom was potty training me and instead potty trained our cat…talk about confusing. she kept going to the little potty where i was training and it would have yellow pee in it and then send me to school with my “big girl panties” only for me to have an accident. she finally figured it out when she caught the cat on the toilet.

    i don’t think animals are supposed to be normal in a home. i think they are domesticated to make us laugh and bring joy to our lives.

  5. Cats are weirdos… mine used to lick the plastic grocery bags we brought home from the store… she had to lick every single one like it was the best ice cream ever.

    Here is something funny though… when I read “But Buzz” I saw “Butt Fuzz” instead… I am looney!

    Happy Weekend!

  6. Kelley says:

    Our 11 year old WV hillbilly-calico Rosie just lies in the bathroom sink waiting for you to turn it on. Jason’s two are Bengal cats and they love water. Tuna actually jumped in the toilet while Allen was peeing (ick) – thankfully it only happened once and of course I had to bathe the cat. Hubby was too grossed out!

  7. One of our cats does pretty much the same thing. It’s insane. Meanwhile, my daughter will run in while I’m on the toity and flush it, resulting in a nice spray on my tush. Love it. I think I need to invest in a dead bolt for the bathroom.

  8. LOL…thankfully our dog just waits until no one is looking to drink from the toilet – I guess it’s just easier than dropping her head a few more inches to reach her water bowl. Gotta love those stupid animals!

  9. Jade says:

    OMG! I laughed so hard that I almost pee’d on myself, (which is bad enough) but at work!!! I don’t need to pee, and I don’t have blatter control problems, YET! So you know this is funny!!!! Shame on you for posting such funny stuff, I’ll make sure to steal some of my co-workers depends or take and extra bathroom break (that’s a better idea) before reading your post’s! LMAO!

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