The one with the persistent B.O.

We saw the insides of six houses today. And of the ones that were not already vacant exactly one of those were show worthy. Three of them were dirty and one was foul beyond measure.

Tenants, do you really live in that filth? Are you that inconsiderate of your landlords? We couldn’t believe how dirty and messy these people left their houses when they KNEW that people would be dropping by to tour. We didn’t really care to see his and her underwear all over the master bedroom floor, but that’s what we saw. We didn’t care to see mold growing in the bathroom tub, but that’s what we saw. Trash piled high next to the already full trash can (this neighborhood has trash service everyday just so you know). Dirty dishes filling the dirty sink. Laundry piled into the basement shower.

The worst house, the one foul beyond measure, reminded us of that Seinfeld episode where Jerry lets a valet park his car and ends up with a B.O. stench that would not leave the car. And it would not leave his jacket or Elaine’s hair. This house had dog stench. As soon as we opened the door I wretched a little and tried covering my nose with my sweater. Unmistakable–hot, wet dog smell. We couldn’t figure out how the stench got so bad. The house had hardwood floors on two levels and carpet in the basement. Did he bake the dog in the oven? The dog was nowhere to be seen so we were left to wander quickly through the house wondering what happened to make the place so foul.

I gathered a couple of clues as I was darting through trying to hold my breath and hold back the vomit at the same time. I surmised that a single guy lived there until he recently got married. My guess is that they were moving to a bigger, better place to start a family. God help that woman to know what she’s getting herself into. Dude does not know how to keep a clean house. Dude must not have a working olfactory system either, because, yes, people tend to get used to their house’s “odor” and not smell it like other people do, but this odor?!?!, that guy must not be able to smell anything at all. We felt a little bad for him, because he has got to go to work stinking, like Jerry and Elaine did, not able to escape the stench…and nobody was telling him that he reeked of old, hot, wet dog. Why we even set foot in there after the first stink wafted out the front door, I’ll never know. No amount of airing that house out is going to get rid of that hot, wet dog smell.

What today gave me was more than just pity for these people that they spend their home lives in filth. It let me know that my house, as messy and dusty as it can get sometimes, is never as bad as what we saw today. It gave me hope that I am cleaner and neater than half the population. Not that that’s something I aspire to or anything.

Your forever slightly OCD, semi-neat freak,

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6 thoughts on “The one with the persistent B.O.

  1. LOL I know the discust you were feeling. My stomach is turning just thinking of it – yuck!
    Better luck today I hope. And trash pick up everyday? Wow, that is luxury and would be wonderful. You think anyone would love being able to stick their trash by the curbside when the bag is full instead of having to haul it out to the trash bin outside to avoid a smelly house LOL

  2. dandelionmom says:

    SO–in the pretty neighborhoods the nice house-fronts hide nasty things inside…whodathunkit?? What did the realtor say? Did they even throw you a “this one needs some tender lovin care”? We got that and when we went in we found piles of cig ash overflowing the ashtrays so high you could not see the trays (but I MUST believe they are there I MUST). Imagine the therapy your cats would need if you moved into that house! Nothing liveable yet? MAybe today is the day.

  3. Ugh. I am, admittedly, a slob. And our house is starting to make me a little crazy because, with all the projects going on, it’s really beyond control. But, even with all that chaos, the trash goes out, the bathroom is cleaned EVERY DAY, the sweeper gets run and floors get mopped.

    There’s a special place in hell for people who trash decent living spaces because they’re too lazy to properly dispose of trash or occasionally clean something.

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