I’ve always admitted that I can’t wait for the empty nest phase of life. As much as I love my girls and protect them with every motherly fiber of my being, there is a part of me that is ready for them to be grown, successful, married, and out of the house.
Kids are noisy. I like noise. At a concert. Not so much in my house…all the time. And we have two girls so try to imagine that. Talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and a breath, and talking and talking and talking and a question and talking and talking and. It’s no wonder I don’t care to gab on the phone or in person even. I’ve heard enough before breakfast than most people do all day.
This month, because of the move, our girls have been staying with their grandparents. First they were with Grandma Dee for a week while the packers and movers were at our house. Then they were at Nonna & Bops for a week while we drove up to DC and did some house hunting. Today we picked them up from the airport and I couldn’t have been happier. I cried when I saw them. And it was a happy cry.
Now I think I’m crying out of pain. My ears hurt. I’ve had two of the most peaceful weeks in recent history and it kind of came to a screeching halt this afternoon. And to compound the noise issue I seem to have, we’re staying in a hotel room that’s about as big as your walk-in closet. Go look in your closet. See, not much room when you think about two adults, two girls and two cats living there for up to five weeks. Did you get that? FIVE weeks. Pity party will commence in twelve minutes, but not in this hotel room ’cause there wouldn’t be enough room. Ear plugs will be handed out as the party favor (you who know me know I love my ear plugs. Let’s hope they work in this situation as well).
Now Grandpa and Grandma S had them last year when we were moving down to Alabama, and they live all the way in Arkansas so I can’t just ask them to pony up and sign up for another week of grandparent camp (love that term; I’m stealing from an FB friend). Therefore I am taking applications for grandparents by proxy. I won’t even require you to be of normal grandparent age. Leave me a message and I’ll get you the application. You’ll probably pass. Here are some sample questions:
- Do you love kids?
- Will you love my kids more than life itself?
- Do you promise to make my kids use their manners?
- Do you have pets my kids can (and will) man handle?
- Teaching them a sport, hobby or second or third language would be a plus.
- Pampering them a little, and reminding them this ain’t happening at home, would be another plus.
- Can you keep them until, oh, about 01 August?
P.S. I am in no way serious, so back off.