It’s not what you think; I heard your audible gasps. Believe me, I gasped myself when I heard this word come out of my seven year old’s mouth. At a playground no less.
We were at the play area in the mall that is decorated with climbable art including a tree, a bear, some books, some bees, etc. Reagan had made a friend and she was running around with this new friend telling the new friend all the names she had come up for the different objects.
Apparently there is an owl on the top page of the big stack of climbable books. I heard, from across the room, “this one is Bitchy.” Only I heard, “this one is bitchy.” Subtle difference but that capital letter is a big player in this story. I told myself I had to be hearing things since the din in that area was a little louder than, oh, a cheering crowd in a stadium, and I let it go.
Later she came over to talk to me and I remembered to bring it up.
Me: So you were making names for everything. What was the name you called that stack of books?
R: Oh, there’s an owl on the page and its name is Bitchy. That’s what I named it.
Me: (Suppressing a huge guffaw) Honey, that’s not a very proper name for something. Here’s what bitchy means… (and proceeded to explain the word). So you see, we can’t use that name because other parents might hear you and think you’re using the word the bad way.
She didn’t really say “whatever”, but I was thankful that it basically didn’t phase her. I’m not sure if she’ll remember that word or not. But I had to write it down here for posterity. I’m a great mom like that…