Those of you with toddlers will know exactly what I am talking about.
I’ve had it up to my spit up stained shirt and food matted hair. Would it be entirely impossible for you to refrain from making seemingly harmless and awkwardly cute comments to me when my toddler is acting up in public? What you consider to be helpful I consider to be seven more meaningless words that my brain now has to process and come back with a polite and equally awkwardly cute response that belies the daggers I am throwing you with my eyes.
I mean really, you are, how should I say this..up there in age. You think it’s “cute” when you see a little kid foaming at the mouth, throwing things out of the cart and shreaking at the top of her lungs. You think she’s “tired” when you finally put the face to the whining and moaning you heard three aisles over. You think “I could use a break” when you see the dejected, haggard look on my face and tears forming in my eyes.
You think it is going to actually help by actually speaking to the child. I will inform you right now, it does not. What you are actually doing is one of several things. You’re either fanning the flames that make them want to hurl things faster and harder, or you’re interrupting the discipline that Mommy is trying to give junior in public, or you’re just being a big boob inserting yourself into a situation that only needed two participants to begin with.
Mothers who are living this know all of this and yet don’t feel the need to try to reassure either the mother or the demon spawn child. They understand that Mommy wants to remain as invisible as possible and just get the flippin groceries and get out before an eye is put out. They understand that said child is inconsolable at this moment anyway and would rather throw things at you than have to try to comprehend what you are saying to them.
Please, take my advice and just buttoutski. Turn your head if you just feel the urge to speak and the words are forming on your lips before your brain even knows what’s happening. Say a prayer, look at your wife, even give me an understanding look, but for the love of all that is peaceful and nonhomicidal, do not say one word to me or my kid.