Not So SAHM

Indulge

1. I was thinking last week about blogging about my favorite shoes. Because, you are just dying to know about them, I know. You just didn’t know it. Then last night Tori started tweeting about buying some shoes. And I tried to convince her to buy them. And now I’m thinking about my favorite shoes again.

So here they are:

But one angle won’t do. Because these shoes are iridescent. I know! Look at them from a different angle and you see:

That Jessica Simpson is smarter than she makes out to be. I love these because they are unexpected and can really go with lots of things. I told Tori last night that I wear them with any candy colored top. That makes me seem fun.

I’ve had these shoes for probably a year now and I think they’re still looking pretty darn good.

2. In other fashion news, I was going to show you a dress I fell in love with in the December issue of Town & Country. I looked it up on the designer’s website, however, and fell out of love with it. Hard. Sometimes it’s necessary to see how clothes will hang on an actual body. So, no picture here. I will, instead, remind you of the dress I fell in love with last year…and would gladly take it as a hand-me-down. As proven above, I have no issues with wearing last year’s fashion.

Dang I look good in it (thanks Tori)!

3. In still more fashion news. I used to feel naked without a watch. But then the battery died (and I’ve been too cheap to get it replaced) and I haven’t worn a watch since. I obviously got over the feeling naked part. Today I received a temptation email from Rue La La. These watches are on sale right now:

You know what’s absurd, that I would consider buying a new watch and abandon the old one that just needs its battery replaced. Sometimes I wonder about myself.

4. Last, but certainly not least, as it is giving me a whole new outlook on fashion, two recent blog posts are making me think totally new things about fashion. The first post was my own about the Uniform Project. Daja replied including this remark:

I heard a wardrobe consultant say that we should spend something like 30% of our clothing budget on clothes and 70% on accessories. She said that accessories made all the difference and we could dress for much cheaper if we knew how to accessorize better.

Um, where has that little piece of advice been all my life? I rarely buy accessories, which brings me to the second post. Lula posted about Summer of Le Musings of Moi. Summer is what I look like to myself in my head. Too bad the mirror rarely reflects such stylish style. AND she’s a thrift shopper. True genius. Lula and I were emailing and talking about accessories and I was noting how I am too cheap frugal to buy accessories every season.

So for my new outlook on fashion I will attempt to spend less on clothes and more on accessories. If I were to buy one dress and then just accessorize that everyday I think I’d be off to a good start…if only my clothing budget weren’t so miniscule.

Great advice for homeschoolers (from a professor)

I am reproducing this article in its entirety. The advice is definitely something to keep in mind as our children get closer to graduating!

This article may be published on web sites and
in publications as long as it’s reproduced in
its entirety, including the resource box at the end
of the article. Thanks!

College Professor Critiques Homeschoolers
copyright 2009 by Greg Landry, M.S.

I teach sophomore through senior level college
students – most of them are “pre-professional”
students. They are preparing to go to medical
school, dental school, physical therapy school,
etc.

As a generalization, I’ve noticed certain
characteristics common in my students who were
homeschooled. Some of these are desirable,
some not.

Desirable characteristics:

1. They are independent learners and do a great
job of taking initiative and being responsible
for learning. They don’t have to be “spoon fed”
as many students do. This gives them an advantage
at two specific points in their education;
early in college and in graduate education.

2. They handle classroom social situations
(interactions with their peers and professors)
very well. In general, my homeschooled students
are a pleasure to have in class. They greet me
when the enter the class, initiate conversations
when appropriate, and they don’t hesitate to
ask good questions. Most of my students do
none of these.

3. They are serious about their education and
that’s very obvious in their attitude, preparedness,
and grades.

Areas where homeschooled students can improve:

1. They come to college less prepared in the
sciences than their schooled counterparts –
sometimes far less prepared. This can be
especially troublesome for pre-professional
students who need to maintain a high grade
point average from the very beginning.

2. They come to college without sufficient
test-taking experience, particularly with
timed tests. Many homeschooled students have a
high level of anxiety when it comes to taking
timed tests.

3. Many homeschooled students have problems
meeting deadlines and have to adjust to that in
college. That adjustment time in their freshman
year can be costly in terms of the way it affects
their grades.

My advice to homeschooling parents:

1. If your child is even possibly college
bound and interested in the sciences, make
sure that they have a solid foundation of
science in the high school years.

2. Begin giving timed tests by 7th or 8th grade.
I’m referring to all tests that students take, not
just national, standardized tests.

I think it is a disservice to not give students
timed tests. They tend to focus better and score
higher on timed tests, and, they are far better
prepared for college and graduate education if
they’ve taken timed tests throughout the high
school years.

In the earlier years the timed tests should allow
ample time to complete the test as long as the
student is working steadily. The objective is for
them to know it’s timed yet not to feel a time
pressure. This helps students to be comfortable
taking timed tests and develops confidence in
their test-taking abilities.

3. Give your students real deadlines to meet in
the high school years. If it’s difficult for students
to meet these deadlines because they’re
coming from mom or dad, have them take
“outside” classes; online, co-op, or community
college.
_______________________________

Greg Landry is a 14 year veteran homeschool dad
and college professor. He also teaches one and
two semester online science classes, and offers
free 45 minute online seminars..
http://www.HomeschoolScienceAcademy.com

Protected: Fall Soup Tasting Party Recipes

The Uniform Project

I’m loving this blog/site:

I’m am all for capitalism, especially the making money part and spending money part. Well, that pretty much sums capitalism up, but I am a big fan. I do think though there is a limit as to how much I personally can obtain and own before I start feeling a little selfish and indifferent to others, to the world, to my own desires to teach my children that happiness does not come from gathering and owning things. Capitalism is a fabulous means to an end. And that end shouldn’t really be trying to fill my house with every imaginable thing. I mean, do I need twenty sweaters and nineteen pairs of shoes? (I didn’t just go and count those by the way.) Do I need an everyday set of dinnerware and a special set that I forget to take out during special occasions anyway? Do I need another candle to set out and collect dust because that’s all it’s good for in my house, I forget to burn them. Do I need more stuff? Because where does all that stuff go when we’re done with it? If it doesn’t stay in our house it either gets donated to Good Will or goes straight into the dump.

In my life, we move every two or three years. This has turned me into a purger and I’ve become very good at saying no to a lot of the physical trappings of capitalism. I like to throw things out instead of bringing more into the house. In fact I’m very good at saying no to toys, especially the landfill crap that comes in kids’ meals at nameyourclosestgreasepit. Did I just type that? My weakness though would be clothing. I have a very hard time getting rid of things hanging in my closet. Because I can see myself wearing “it” in my mind. Even if I’ve never actually worn it in real life. I have a top that I bought in NYC that I have yet to wear. But I cannot part with it. Because I just might wear it once on a date night. Please help me.

This is what intrigues me about the Uniform Project. Sheena is taking one dress and wearing it for 365 days, making it different each day with accessories, etc. Before you say gross, because I know you’re already thinking it, I did, she actually has seven of the same dress. It’s a good thing she has a designer friend who designed the dress with her and helped her sew seven of them! She’s accessorizing with various vintage finds and things people donate to her. I love the idea of taking a really well-made item and wearing it over and over again (while maintaining its freshness obviously). I wish I had the guts to do it.

My hangup, in being able to do this myself, is personal. Growing up, all the popular girls never wore anything twice to school. I swear I never saw them wear the same thing twice. That was my insecure twisted brain telling myself that I needed to be able to do the same thing. There was even a point in junior high when I wrote down what I wore everyday so I wouldn’t rewear something too soon. So, I’m coming from the background of if I’m having to wear an item over and over again it’s because I don’t have enough money or enough sense to go out and get something else.

That is insane. Go ahead and judge. I am growing out of that though if only out of necessity. There are some days when I can’t even pull a complete thought together, much less a cute outfit. But, wait a minute. I sure did wear something cute yesterday! And I didn’t sweat. And my girls didn’t smear any food on it. And I’m going to be seen by different people today than I was seen by yesterday…

For some reason jeans are a different story. I’ll wear the same pair of jeans over and over and not care who sees. If you’re staring hard enough to notice these are the same jeans I’ve had on several days in a row then come a little closer so I can slap you. Jeans are kind of the background to an outfit so they’re allowed that.

I am sure the Europeans are already practicing this “sustainable fashion” idea as Sheena puts it, or at least they were when I lived over there. Those women can pull together some pretty crazy looking outfits, but they end up looking cool because they just act cool. This leads me to believe that they don’t have as many clothes hanging in their closets as I do and so they form (seemingly odd) combinations in order to get more mileage out of their items. I don’t know though, they have a pretty crazy design aesthetic when it comes to automobile upholstery and eyeglasses so maybe they do think they’re on the cutting edge of fashion. If it sounds like I’m being derogatory I’m really not. I like the fact that they have their own individual senses of style and just wear what they want to. If only I could be so bold.

I think I’d have to move to New York to be able to pull off some of the things Sheena has worn so far. D.C. is still pretty conservative. When it comes to dress that is. Lord knows there are only two conservatives in D.C. right now and they’re both under this roof. Add to that the stigma of being a SAHM and a somewhat suburban one at that. A suburban SAHM’s outfit is chosen for her whether she likes it or not. I try to buck the system every once in a while, but then I just feel like I’m trying to be younger than I really am. And then the other mommies don’t ask me to play.

So here’s what I need to do. Come up with a core wardrobe of well-made items, preferably sewn by me (but that would throw out the well-made part so hmm…) that I can “change” by layering different tops or bottoms or scarves or hats (boy, wouldn’t people look at me then!). Then maybe I’d feel confident enough to throw out the 80% of my wardrobe that gets worn maybe once a year.

Or I could just look at Sheena’s blog and dream about owning a dress that I could wear backwards and forwards. Two dresses in one. Or 14 if I could have seven of them like she does. If only her designer friend had made it reversible as well. Four dresses in one. Or 28.

Initially I had a criticism about the Uniform Project, and that was that Sheena accessorizes with different things everyday. So her wardrobe isn’t actually decreasing in size. The “sustainability” factor flies out the window. I don’t really like that word though. It’s a buzz word that everyone uses now to make us think that what they are doing or trying to sell us is somehow better for the environment. Well, wearing 365 actual different outfits is not sustainable for the environment (nor is it easy on the wallet). It IS sustainable for capitalism though, so I’m not really criticizing her right or ability to wear 365 different outfits, if that’s what she wants. After all, that was my goal as a youth! Her goal, however,is the idea that she’s getting across–that we can take ONE dress and wear it many different ways–that matters. She’s the lucky one that gets to model the 365 ways.

I met Grammar Girl (!!!!)

Some people get all hot and bothered about meeting celebrities. I probably would too if I knew who half of the current celebrities out there today were. I get all excited when I get to meet my own personal celebrities: politicians…and grammar icons. Oh yes. Who are we kidding, I just see them and I tweet and facebook the sighting quicker than a DC stoplight.

And tonight I got to do both. I’m in some kind of DC heaven. As we were on our way to a DC Borders we somehow were stuck in gridlock traffic. Imagine that. It was on Embassy Row or some other shi shi la la road, so I got to stare at lots of pretty buildings. There were lots of people out and about walking to dinner or to home or jogging. For some reason though this one man caught my eye, walking by himself, carrying a heavy brief case and looking kind of tired. Good thing Du was with me because I thought it was a tv news guy. I said, “I’ve seen that guy on tv before!” all jazzed that I was having a celebrity sighting. Du said, “yeah (as in duh), that’s Dick Gephardt.” Du’s cool because he can actually place the face with the name. Me? I just think they’ve all been on tv.

So I tweeted and fb-ed that I just saw Dick Gephardt. And I heard crickets chirping.

After dinner we got to Borders for my intentional personal celebrity sighting of the night. Grammar Girl!! She is the guru of grammar and uses social media, and interesting examples, to make it cool. I’m a closet grammar geek. I stay in the closet though because I don’t consider myself well-versed on the minutia of grammar. I am in no way prepared to correct other’s grammar when I myself cannot manage to use it properly. Me and commas (sic, haha) do not get along. I either overuse or underuse them and have been accused of both by professors. And I just started using semicolons, incorrectly most likely. The little grammar tidbits I get from Mignon help me feel like I’m actually getting a grip on the English language though.

I follow Grammar Girl. Almost in the truest sense of the word. I follow her on Twitter and Facebook. I listen to her podcast. Tonight she said to me, “you look familiar.” “Oh gawd!!!” I thought. Am I stalker? She has lots of fans and I somehow have stuck out in her mind…crap. “Uh, I follow you on Twitter,” I manage to get out. Only, I forgot that my Twitter picture is of the girls, not me. She must have seen that comment I left her on fb last night. Oh crap, I am a stalker! She was very nice though and spelled my name correctly when she signed my book. Maybe I’m not a stalker. Maybe I’m just a

I always seem to make a fool of myself though when I meet my own personal celebrities. After the fact. I get home, download the pictures, and shudder in sheer horror. Did I really look like that!? Tonight I remembered my propensity and warned Du, “please don’t let me look like I’m about to stab her with a knife.” He knew exactly what I was talking about. And he laughed. “No, really. I want a normal picture of me with a famous person.” When the time came to get my picture taken with GG I totally forgot to try to smile normally. But Du took a picture with two different phones. “I think, with two, maybe one of the pictures came out normal,” he said. It’s a good thing I love him. I think this time it actually worked out though.

This is me with Grammar Girl, Mignon Fogarty. She looks all nice and normal and I finally look somewhat normal.

But here’s what I mean about getting psychotic looking:

This is me with Joyce Rumsfeld. She looks all nice and normal. Me? It looks like I’m probably holding a knife behind my back and am maniacally laughing. To myself.

This is me with Sarah Palin. She looks all nice and normal. Me? It looks like I’m probably holding a knife behind my back and am maniacally laughing. To myself.

This is me with Mike Huckabee. He looks all nice and normal. Me? It looks like I’m probably holding a knife behind my back and am maniacally laughing. To myself.

It’s like I’m trying to see how many teeth I can show off at the same time. LOOK! I HAVE TEETH! ALL OF THEM!

There’s only one other personal celebrity picture in which I do not look like I’m a serial killer:

Uh. This is me. And that’s Sean Hannity. And I’m not even looking. That’s apparently a good thing.

Motherhood (Film)

Defining what motherhood means is almost impossible. To each woman the name and the role means something different. As varied as we are so will our answers be about what being a mother means to us. What defines me will not define you and what issues you face in being a mother will not be the same ones I face.

The fact is though is that we as mothers all have ideas that define us and we all have struggles that we go through during the season of raising little ones. I think it’s safe to say that every mother spends some time thinking about, if not stressing over, identity and being and the possibility of losing oneself in the roll of mother. Who am I? Who am I compared to who I thought I was going to be? How do I continue to be true to myself all the while placing other’s needs before mine?

I was fortunate enough to be able to screen the new Motherhood film earlier this week. I have to say it is spot on in expressing any mother’s struggle with identity and being. Spot. On. Eliza is a mother in New York City who left a career to stay at home and raise her two children (with father, Goose…I mean Anthony Edwards), but she might as well have been a mother in D.C., or Atlanta, or rural Alabama. Her life is busy and chaotic and messy and frustrating and her attentions are focused mainly on the lives of her two children out of necessity, not because she is an overly doting mother who doesn’t want a moment’s harm to befall her child (that woman is in the movie too and she is hilarious). This includes things we all know very well: making sure the household is running properly and schedules coordinate and friendships are maintained and neighbors are looked after and maybe, just maybe, she can have a moment to herself.

Can you relate? I’ll say that I thought they had filmed my life and Uma Thurman was doing her interpretation of me. That was me on the screen in a lot of the film. Although I did not leave a career to be a mother I still could so relate to her daily grind and how that affected her as a person–as a human who loves being a mother but also longs for her “other than mother” identity to remain intact as well. There were numerous times when my husband (he came with me, brave man) would look at me or squeeze my hand, knowing I was relating with what was happening on-screen. There were times when I caught myself raising my hand in complete agreement, admitting that was totally me. There were times when I cried because I knew exactly what Eliza was feeling and how hard it is periodically to just keep going. There were times when I laughed because I have said the exact same thing she does (when will I ever be able to form a complex sentence again?).

Eliza’s life is also fun and exciting and filled with moments so precious that she wants to capture them as to be able to remember them forever (in fact, she is much better at that than I am). She doesn’t despair of being a mother; the “job” is too important and honoring and fulfilling. The burdens that begin to weigh on her weren’t troublesome because she didn’t want to be a mom. She needed a way beyond motherhood to define herself. She had been a writer pre-children and her only outlet at the time of the movie was to maintain her own mommy blog. How could she feel fulfilled again? I wonder the same thing sometimes.

As women with children, the fact is that motherhood does define us. The choice is how we are going to let it define us. How are we going to take our God-given talents and desires and gifts and use those beyond being a mother only. How can we balance the struggle of meeting everyone’s needs (before our own many times) and yet still make sure our basic need of fulfillment is met?

Go see Motherhood if you’re in one of the opening markets (NY, LA, San Francisco, Chicago and Boston). Pray that it comes to a town near you if you have to wait. I wasn’t paid or compensated in any way to write this review. In fact, I wasn’t even asked to write the review. It’s such a good movie though and hits the nail squarely on the head about what I’m certain most mothers go through at least some time in their career as a mom. I know ours isn’t the first generation to be dealing with these complexities. I’m sure Eve struggled with what “mom” meant to her. Ours is the first though to blog about every single runny nose and poopy diaper. We are the first to go a little too far sometimes in describing our wants and needs (or our friend’s…watch the movie) to a readership that spans the globe. We are the first who can seek guidance and compassion from thousands of moms who know exactly what we are going through even though we may feel like we’re the only ones. We are the first generation who has really been able to connect with one another on such a large scale and attempt to have our collective mommy voice heard and understood. The Motherhood film is an advocate for our struggles and heroics and doldrums that we face daily. It’s a great date night to start a discussion with our other half about what we may be going through. If anything it’s a great two hours away from the progenies that first defined us and our life of “motherhood”.