A fart in a mitten

My brain is running around like one tonight trying to decide what, anything please anything, to post.

This summer every single thing I saw and everything that ran through my head was immediately followed by, “I have got to blog about that.” My husband would even remind me of the blogging necessities when I didn’t mention it myself. I was riding the blog wave, hanging ten, and enjoying the exhilarating rush of hitting the publish button at least once a day.

Now I’m washed up soaking up the rays in a very comfortable beach chair with my toes in the sand and cold Coke in my hand, taking a bloggy break shall we say. I wish I were at the beach. Anyway, I’m having to remind myself every couple of days that my brother is now reading my blog and has threatened to take his readership elsewhere if I don’t come through with great content at least somewhat regularly. Hey Richard, you had better be reading this.

So here are a couple of things bouncing around in that vacuous space sometimes occupied by a brain.

*My cats are freaking huge. I’m not just being a cat snob either. Every person that sees them makes comments about their largess. Ashlyn tries to ride them daily, which is funny because they almost weigh as much as she does and if they had their front claws the balance of power would be different around here. It’s not just that they’re overweight–these things are one step down from the cats you see on Animal Planet. Fortunately they aren’t smart and are a bit lazy, so we’re safe.

*For the love of all things sane and pleasant, please please, Montogomery County, quit it with turning on the tornado siren when there is nothing but a storm in the area! We didn’t have this many tornado warnings when we lived in Missouri and rightfully should have been in the basement every other night. Back there they’ve got about two sirens for the whole town, and by golly, you’d better be down wind when that thing went off or you weren’t going to hear it. Here, we are fortunate to have our own personal siren installed right in our backyard not a football field’s length away at the fire department. What is the mayor’s number?

*That reminds me of the time I called the general’s number at 3:00 in the morning because the neighborhood loudspeaker was located right outside our bedroom window and I was pregnant and it kept on announcing that the big exercise the whole base was doing, was indeed, only an exercise. Fortunately (for my husband’s career no doubt) no one was working in the general’s office at 3:00 in the morning.

*We’re almost out of the 13 boxes of Girl Scout cookies we personally ordered. I haven’t even paid for them yet. Talk about fleeting gratification. What will I have to show for that $45.50? A little more flab in the areas I’m trying to target for that April wedding ON THE BEACH that I’m going to. Wasn’t I on a mission to work out and at least drink more water from January until April?

*Oh yeah, that workout plan. Well, February happened, that’s what. Du is trying to use his Jedi mind tricks though to convince me that I do indeed want to jump back on the low carb, low enjoyment diet and hop back on that Wii Fit. Honey, I did only drink water today…and a little bit of sweet tea. And I only had about eight GS Cookies.

*I had no time to exercise though. I had no time to even string two thoughts together. It was one of those days that makes a SAHM wish she were head of the company and on a month long week long business trip. You know, the ones where it’s so nice to be away for a little while and you get energized just enough to enjoy all the chaos for about 1.36 days when you come back? Satan did not get the best of me though. I did not yell (unnecessarily) at my kids. I did lose my brain though and all that’s left are about two neurons that are bouncing around like…well, see the title.

P.S. I have to cut it off there because I just remembered that I never was able to order those books on Amazon that I was trying all day to order. That’s my next post: Frugal or Fast…Take Your Pick.

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7 thoughts on “A fart in a mitten

  1. Siren’s? For weather? Wow, AZ really is missing out. I wonder if they shouldn’t have sirens to warn us of our monsoon storms and the Haboob’s that roll through the desert.

    And how did I completely miss out on girl scout cookie season? Jeesh! I must have been on maternity leave!

  2. Phoebe says:

    You should have lived at Carson – we had sirens for wind, thunderstorms, lightning…. The funny thing was that the sirens/warnings came AFTER the weather. In a weird way, though, I kinda miss it!

  3. Oh Vicki!
    This is too funny. I sometimes h=find myself wondering what to blog about next…thanks for the inspiration.
    My daughter sold GS cookies and I know that I owe the extra bits of me to the box(es) of Caramel Delights that I inhaled.
    hahaha!
    -r

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