TAY: Guiding Light–Celebrities Leading Our Kids?

Before we start talking amongst ourselves I’d like to remind you to get those posts in! Send me the link to the best post you’ve written this week and then check my other blog on Saturday:


Welcome to the fourth and last installment of Talk Amongst Yourselves Week. Today we’re going to read a post from Dr. Robyn of The Powerful Parent Blog. Dr. Robyn helped me out when I was flustered about Reagan’s obsession with the Princesses and Barbie. Her blog is a great resource for learning about and dealing with childhood issues.

Child and teen development expert, Dr. Robyn Silverman, provides easy-to-follow tips to parents and educators. Her tips have been seen in Prevention and Parents Magazines and she’s also been a featured guest on the national radio show with Dr. Drew Pinsky. She’s the creator of the Powerful Words Character Toolkit which is being used in over 500 after-school programs around the world. For more information or to contact Dr. Robyn, visit her website at www.DrRobynSilverman.com or to take part in her Powerful Parenting Blog.

Dr. Robyn recently wrote about a celebrity who would do drugs in order to raise her self esteem. Knowing how much the media plays a roll in our society today, and therefor our children’s lives, is this responsible to even say? Read Dr. Robyn’s post and tell us what you think.

Do Children Listen When Celebrities Say Dumb Things?
Selma Blair Says She’ll Take LSD to Up Her Self Esteem!

People say and do ridiculous things everyday without thinking “maybe children or teens could be listening and watching.” Regular people need to watch what they say and do–but celebrities really need to take heed, don’t you think? It makes you think; what makes a good role model? I mean, look what happened whenMiley Cyrus did one ridiculous thing– the world stopped for 3 days! If you take a look at the comment section after the Miley Cyrus debacle, you’ll see that children and parents were certainly affected.

lifeswhatyoumakeit, on April 30th, 2008 at 2:11 am Said: Miley doesn’t need people sticking by her and insulting her biggest fan, Katrina. What she needs is someone to tell her, “STOP IT! YOU’RE THROWING EVERYTHING AWAY!” She does not need people who say, “Who cares, it’s just a temptation.” She needs people to believe in her and want her to get through this. I believe she can get through it, and when she does, I’ll be more than happy to regain my place as her number one fan. However, Katrina, if she does anything like this again, you are welcome to take my place, because I don’t want to look up to people who let me down again and again.

“I’ll be happy and say something nice about myself for a change, I’ll have gone to Amsterdam, done acid, done some amazing theatre in London. Beautiful!

So, what do you think could happen when a popular actress talks about dropping acid in order to improve her troubled self esteem and body image? Selma Blair, star of Hellboy,with the help of filmmaker, Guillermo Del Toro, might need to know that when they speak, their fans are likely listening.

Of course…we hope not.

Selma Blair has admitted in the past that the only thing she likes about her body is her hands. Giillermo Del Toro suggested some acid would do the trick! Yes, of course it may make her well-loved hands look like enormous oven mitts, but Selma believes it’s worth a try.

“You know what Guillermo thinks? That I should go to Amsterdam and take an acid trip and it would fix my head. I think he could be right you know. You know, I’ve done some things to excess but I hate pot and I’ve never done acid or ecstasy. But if I was in the right frame of mind, in a pleasant, creative, chilled-out space, with just the right amount delivered by an Amsterdam technician, that would be incredible.”

So what does Selma Blair say about the future? It looks bright!

Could it be a joke? Does it matter?

Just for the record:
What’s acid?

Full Name:Lysergic Acid Diethylamide (LSD)

What does this have to do with self-esteem? LSD causes an inflation of the ego which, at least in Selma Blair’s eyes, may be an effective antidote for low self-esteem.

Children and teens, please cup your ears.

Yes, sometimes famous people say really stupid things. And yes, it’s LSD is illegal.

So what do you think? Are celebrities to consider themselves role models? How would our children react to hearing/reading about such things? I commented to Dr. Robyn that this was the most idiotic thing I’d heard from a celebrity in a while. Selma’s either stupid and gullible or she’s trying to sound open and willing in order to be considered edgy. I didn’t even comment on the fact that our daughters would be reading this somewhere and wondering if a little acid trip might do wonders for them as well. I don’t have a doubt that children are affected by what they see and hear. It’s up to us as parents to make sure this crap doesn’t reach them, and if it does we need to be prepared to sound off! What do you think? Talk amongst yourselves!

TAY: ADHD–Overdiagnosed? Early Diagnosis?

Welcome to the third installment of Talk Amongst Yourselves Week. Today we’re going to read a post from Debateur at Debateur Debates. She is one of my favorite blogs to read because I get to spout off my opinion everyday on whatever topic she’s chosen to offer up for debate. You really must check her out and leave your own opinion on her posts. Debateur recently held a discussion about the age at which children are diagnosed with mental illnesses, specifically ADHD. Is two years old too young to diagnose a disorder such as ADHD? Read Debateur’s post and tell us what you think.

How Young Is Too Young?

Today’s debate focuses on the optimal age to diagnose mental illness in children.

Several years ago I happened to be in a support group for young Moms and their children. There was one 2 year old boy in the group who had recently been diagnosed with ADHD and placed on medication. I may be wrong but to the best of my knowledge these medications are not tested on children.

In a nutshell an ADHD kid is someone who can’t sit still and never seems to listen or follow instructions. These kids may also blurt out inappropriate comments at inappropriate times and may be referred to as troublemakers. Sometimes they are even criticized for being lazy or undisciplined. (summary of ADHD link)

The whole thing just got me wondering how one could differentiate between ADHD symptoms and normal childhood behavior especially at the age of 2 ?

Today’s questions are do you think that 2 years old is too young to make a diagnosis of ADHD if yes what would you consider an appropriate age and if your child was diagnosed with ADHD or another mental illness at what point would you consider medication ?

Wow! So what do you think? Answer these in your humble opinion (unless you are a doctor who actually knows the numbers). Are we diagnosing this disorder at too young of an age now? Is ADHD over-diagnosed? Is medication issued too readily leading to over-medicated kids? Talk amongst yourselves!

TAY: Is Virginity Passe?

Welcome to the second installment of Talk Amongst Yourselves Week. Today we’re going to read a post from Ronnica of Tale of a Kansas Girl. Ronnica revealed a very intimate fact about her on her blog last week…(whispering) she’s a virgin. Are you gasping? I for one started jumping up and down when I read her post. I wanted to rally on the capitol again. Rally cry: “Virginity! It ain’t for sissies!” “Don’t do it until you say ‘I do’!” This is one of the many things I pray for for my girls. I want them to remain pure until the night of their wedding. Then, on that night, I will go watch the loudest, funniest movie I can to get out of my mind what’s happening in some hotel room somewhere. (Actually, hopefully we’ve talked about it before hand so I can give them some tips and pointers…is that TMI?) Read Ronnica’s post and tell us what you think.

Proud To Be A Virgin

I’ve had this post on my mind for several weeks, but many questions made me hesitant to post it. What if you reject me because I’m old-fashioned? What if the topic is simply too personal? What if I’m simply writing this out of pride? What if you think I’ll look down on you? What if the subject really should be taboo?

But with a little help from a bloggy friend, here it is. To be honest, the only reason why I’m going through with it today is because I told her to look for it today. I hope that it can be an encouragement to some.

What I’ve been wanting to say is this: I’m proud to be a virgin. There’s much about my past that is less than stellar, though it would do no good to dredge it up. There are many days I look back on and wish I could redo. But thanks be to God (and He’s really the only reason), through it all I knew I must keep my virginity. As I grew in my faith, the conviction to stay sexually pure moved beyond merely avoiding sexual intimacy outside of marriage to limiting other types of pre-sexual contact.

As you know, I’m single and have never been married. That means that my commitment to God to remain chaste until marriage has led me to remain a virgin. Though this behavior is not seen as “normal” (just take a look at most movies: you know the characters are in love because they get in bed together) and made fun of, I’m okay with being counter-cultural. Sadly, even among Christian circles virginity is a lost art (though anyone reading literature or studying history will see that while chastity among the unmarried and faithfuless in marriage is more rare today, it was not universally practiced in history, either).

I don’t know when/if I’ll be married. If I never marry, I realize my commitment to God’s standard will mean that I will die a virgin. Though I don’t want that, I’m okay with it. My Lord is more important than my own pleasure.

Though you’ve always been wonderful, I ask that today that you be particularly sensitive in your comments. This is not a subject that I feel I can discuss fully. If you ask any questions, I’d prefer to answer them via email, so make sure you have it in your profile, otherwise leave it in your comment. Feel free to email me as well (taleofakansasgirl (at) hotmail (dot) com). Thank you!

Just so you know, Ronnica has been enboldened by the kind comments she has already received. But what do you think? Is virginity passé? What is the importance of remaining a virgin until marriage? Or is that importance an idea that has evolved into a “whatever is best for you” type thing? Is it important to leave something for your spouse that only you and s/he will share? Talk amongst yourselves!

TAY: Should Parents be Kid Cruise Directors?

Lately I’ve been reading some great posts that have given me serious food for thought–posts I wish others (you) could read. These topics are, to me, relevant for today’s world and are worthy of good discussion. That’s why I’m bringing them to you this week.

Or as I considered calling it: CONTROVERSY WEEK

The word ‘controversy’ sounds so…oh, I don’t know…controversial, so I changed it up a bit. We all love to talk (some more than others–big shout out to Reagan, whom I’ve renamed ‘20,000’) and I’d love to get the conversation going on the posts I’m going to bring to you. These have been written by other bloggers and reposted with their permission. So get the conversation going here in the comments section, but if you feel strongly about what they’ve written, by all means, head over their blog and comment to them!

Today’s post is from Christy of Motherhood…Unscripted. She wrote recently about having to plan all her kids’ fun and how that’s just not how parenting is supposed to go. I have to say, I totally agree with her. As I was reading her post I was pumping my fist in the air and planning a rally on the steps of the capitol. My rally cry: “I’m a Mom, not a cruise director!” Reagan and Ashlyn stopped what they were doing, looked at me dumbfounded, and began to cry. Read Christy’s post below and then tell us what you think.

Julie McCoy, I Am NOT

This ain’t The Love Boat & I ain’t Julie McCoy. I don’t know when we, as parents, changed from “parents” to “cruise & entertainment directors”. I was actually talking about this to my mom & dad a couple weeks ago, but it came back to the forefront today. You see, my daughter (who’s 10, going on 11) is under the impression that it’s MY JOB to think up fun & interesting activities for her when she’s bored. Oh, and she’s also grounded. So she can’t play with friends or watch TV or play computer. So, somehow, it became my responsibility to conjure up stuff for her to do. And, because I’m saying no to all her suggestions (baking cookies, going somewhere, riding alone to the library), I’m made of suck.

See, here’s the thing. I never would have DREAMED of going to my mother and demanding that she plan my entertainment for the day. It never would have crossed my mind to expect her to play with me. She either would have laughed in my  face or screamed at me that she was busy – what was wrong with me?!? Somehow, our generation of mothers, especially, are expected to be the source of everything for our kids. We’re supposed to engage them, entertain them, enrich their lives with activities and adventures and crap. Everywhere we turn, we’re told how we can better “play” with our kids or ways to enrich them and that kind of thing. Trips to go on, places to visit, activities to engage them with – all carefully planned and led by mommy. Pick up a Parents or Parenting or Family Fun magazine and leaf through it. It’s chock-full of stuff you’re SUPPOSED to be doing with your kids and woe upon you if you don’t.

I know there are moms out there who do this stuff. Who have craft time scheduled every week and take the kids to the park everyday and take time to teach them gardening and all about the insects in the soil and stuff. Good on you. If you enjoy that and it blesses you & your kids, that’s awesome. It’s the new expectation that, as a mom, you’d BETTER be doing this kind of stuff that gets under my skin.

My parents were completely unaware of this. As grandparents, they’re not exposed to this trend and sat in slack-jawed disbelief as I explained it to them. About the way we’re made to feel guilty if we don’t want to play Thomas trains with our kids. About the onslaught of articles and gentle “reminders” we’re hit with telling us how we need to bike ride and play outside and dig holes and go to the zoo and grow plants and play Barbies and build with blocks and teach about shapes and colors out in the world. My mother? Actually laughed. OUT LOUD. When I asked what was funny, she replied, “I just thought about my mother riding bikes with us and it was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever imagined.”

So, see, HER mother didn’t play with her. Didn’t even consider enriching her or riding bikes with her (and her sisters) or playing dolls with her. She was BUSY. Even the thought of ASKING her to join them or come up with something for them to do is, even now, ridiculous to my mother. And, goodness knows, it’s ridiculous to me. We NEVER asked my mother for stuff like that. Of course, my mom’s situation was vastly different, but still. My husband’s mother never did, either. She was a SAHM of 4 kids. She didn’t play with them or go bike riding with them or take them to the park. She was BUSY. The kids played with each other or other kids in the neighborhood. And, while I might have been bored and even dared share that with my mother, I NEVER insisted that it was her responsibility to provide me with entertainment.

Our generation is truly expected to do everything. We should work, have our own hobbies or lives outside caring for the children, keep a good house, enrich, enlighten and engage our children far beyond what any previous generation has done, be a good cook, an interesting and attractive wife, and still have time to continue to learn, grow and flourish as our own persons. If I was a swearer, I’d unleash a string of profanity that would make the guys on Deadliest Catch blush. This is horse-pucky. A big, old, forgotten pile of horse-pucky, covered in flies and what they lay, some vomit and rotting vegetables. It’s the reason why so many of us moms are on meds today. Because the stress of trying to meet all these expectations makes us CRAZY. It’s certainly why I’m on Zoloft. There isn’t a woman alive who can be this person. Without pharmecuticals or a whole lotta booze.

I’m sick of it. There is only ONE of me. In order to not end up digging out my own eyeball with an icepick, I will simply do the best I can and the rest will have to burn. My children will have to learn how to entertain themselves. They have plenty of books, a backyard, Legos and big brains filled with imagination. FIGURE. IT. OUT. Because if I have to hear the deep, soul-rending sigh of a preteen girl, filled with tears as she stomps up the stairs screaming, “I HATE YOU!!!” with all the feeling of Meryl Streep choosing between her children, I will take a hostage, I swear to God. I am NOT Julie McCoy & this AIN’T the freaking Love Boat.


So, what do you think? Are we, as parents, supposed to make sure our kids are entertained all the time? Is it ok for children to be bored? Is it selfish to not want to play with your kids all the time? Talk amongst yourselves!