Open Letter to The Junk Mail Senders

I’m beginning to realize I love open letters. They let me get a lot off my chest. But they don’t seem to be positive do they? I’ll have to work on that.

 

NV of This D*mn House posted about Junk Mail and it made me think about how everyone I know is inundated with the stuff. And how no one I know appreciates any of it…or actually uses any of the offers put forth. I love getting mail. Have since I was a girl. It’s being ruined for me though. Since no one sends actual physical correspondence anymore all I have to look forward to are catalogs, bills and junk.

 

So here’s my open letter to all those junk mail senders:

 

OPEN LETTER TO ALL YOU COMPANIES/ORGANIZATIONS/CHARITIES, ETC THAT SEND MAIL

Just to let you know, you may consider the mail you’re sending to be informative. We consider it junk. You may think that once we read your plea for money there will be no way we can resist. We do. Because we don’t even read the letters. In this household this type of mail doesn’t even get read. Here’s what happens:

  • Vicki checks the mail.
  • Vicki sorts through mail.
  • Vicki puts all junk mail in one pile.
  • Vicki then rips envelopes in half resulting in the first part of the shred.
  • Vicki then sends everything through the shredder WITHOUT HAVING READ ANY OF IT!

 

Now, obviously there’s a reason you continue to send this stuff out to the American public. Either, your overhead budget is so high that you don’t care how effective your mail campaigns are, or there are some people out there who actually send you money, apply for your card, apply for your loan, etc. once they receive these pleas. Please give me their names. I’d like to teach them a little something…

 

Also, you owe me about $75 for a new shredder. I think that’s what they cost these days. My shredder gets choked up swallowing all the crap informative pieces of particulate I feed it. It’s your fault.

 

Shall we even venture to the topic of environmental waste? I’m not really green by any means. Maybe chartreuse. I do understand that you’re using a whole lot of paper = trees. Or are you more interested in the American economic system? Something like:

  • you buy paper and ink = $ into the system
  • you buy stamps = $ into the system
  • you mail them = work for mailman to do = maintained demand for mailmen
  • we open mail to shred = paper cuts = need for band aids = $ into the system
  • we shred mail and break shredder = need to buy new shredder = $ into the system
  • we go crazy posting about junk mail = need to visit “professional” = $ into the system

 

I get it now. Isn’t there a better way for you to pump money into the economy though?

 

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8 thoughts on “Open Letter to The Junk Mail Senders

  1. Grandma Dee says:

    My favorite thing to do IF there is a prepaid envelope included is to tear their “info” up, write junk on a couple of pieces (especially the piece with a bar code), place it in the prepaid, and send it back to them. Not only does it give me a bit of satisfaction knowing that I cost them money by using the prepay, I also enjoy the thought of them thinking they’ve reeled in a sucker only to find the torn up material inside. I’m not sure if they know who I am by the bar code but it sure seems like I am receiving less repeat offers from some companies.

  2. Tim says:

    I happen to be one of the owners of MyJunkTree and as a new company I search the web to see if we are getting any visibility out there and it seems the word is getting out. Thanks for the support.

    We launched the company because we were tired of all the junk mail we were receiving and we personally did not want to bounce all over the web to contact all the different companies to stop it all. First and foremost we wanted to let people choose what they wanted to let come to their home knowing that some people really do like some of the coupons and catalogs. So our clients choose what they want stopped.

    We also had to provide a service that is different than the other services out there, so here is what we offer:

    1. We have a database of over 1300 catalogs that you can choose to stop.
    2. We have over a 2000 charities/Non-Profits that you can stop solicitations from.
    3. Stop the delivery of the national phone directories.
    4. Stop the delivery of the weekly coupons.
    5. Stop the general credit card offers as well as the ones from your own major bank.
    6. Stop the miscellaneous junk mail from the data brokers.
    7. You can register on the National Do Not Call Registry from the website.
    8. You can order your no strings attached free annual credit report right from the website.
    9. We plant trees with every new membership.

    And, yes we are a paid service and yes you can do everything that we do for free, if you want to do all the research and spend the time contacting the companies yourself it can easily be done. We have just done all of the legwork for our clients and feel there is value in the service we provide.

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