Or none of the above.
I don’t feel like I’m as free-spirited and silly as I used to be. I remember the first years of married life where I would get in really silly moods and do plain silly things. Things that would make me think,
There is no other adult woman on this earth that does silly stuff like this. Am I the only crazy one that hasn’t totally grown up and still does goofy stuff?
I’m not going to tell you what these silly things were because it would make me look silly. I’ll give you a hypothetical example though. Say a NASCAR race was on tv and I was rooting for my favorite driver. I might get up off the couch and “drive” around the little house that we had and then jump up and down on the couch when he won. Or one of my favorite songs would come on and I’d perform an impromptu concert in the middle of the kitchen. I would literally stop and wonder if my friends acted this way behind closed doors. Am I alone here?
My issue with myself is this: I don’t do that as much any more. I don’t crack goofy jokes. I don’t jump on the couch. I don’t run around the house screaming just to scream. I’m never silly just to be silly. And this would be the perfect time to get my goofy on. I have two young kids who would probably love it if their mother lightened up once in a while. I’ve got great genes that almost require silliness on a daily basis (refer to this post).
Right now I’m telling myself that it’s because I have many more responsibilities now than I did back then. Just tonight I had to pay some freaking bills that are due before the beginning of the month (AMEX, you’re on my short list of things I hate right now). Total silly killer. Earlier I had to discipline Reagan because she couldn’t get herself washed and shampooed like I asked her to within a reasonable amount of time. How could I be goofy with her after denying her dessert?
There are appointments, bills, school, training and discipline, and other minor things that creep up during each day that kill my silly. I want my silliness back. I’m tired of being an old, cockamamie adult!
Help me get my silly back. Is anyone out there remotely like what I described above? Are you still goofy? How do you keep your goofy going?
Forever grateful, your old bitty trapped in a 30-something body,
Not So SAHM 
I think we’re just tired. I feel certain that once I’m old and can sleep as much as I want I will be again good natured and silly.
I’m still silly – although maybe not as often.. but just make yourself be silly.. it helps the day go quicker 😀
I think you are using up a lot of your silly in places you didn’t before so you don’t have it spilling over at home–Aren’t you the “biddy” that tried to french a statue?? I suppose your Guitar Hero is more SERIOUS play than silly…This blog is funny AND fun and you are here most days -AND making comments too 😀
I think you have a really good point about being overworked and tired…although…maybe if we make a point to be goofy and laugh with the kids while pushing them and ourselves through an especially busy time it would not be so tiring? Forcing ourselves to enjoy the moment and be content instead of impatient to get to where we WANT to be (with all this stuff FINISHED) would really brighten things up for the whole house I bet. SO>… reading this convicted me to get my silly on some more too…I may be stuck on this hamster wheel a bit longer but HEY-I can wave at strangers as I run by!
I hope i’m still silly (except for those time where I desperately need to be taken very seriously.)
In fact, I know I AM silly. And it’s due in large part to having friends who promote that quality and seem to bring out that better part of my nature.
So do the furry members of our family. I dance through the house with Ozzie, squawk like a bird to freak out Toby and carry on largely one-sided conversations with Tigger just to get him “talking.”
I’m the person who puts the pictures of friends I haven’t heard from in a while on the side of milk cartons. (And send this to them via email.) I’m also the person who writes a parody song every year for our annual scrapbooking weekend.
You feel better yet? 🙂
i remember you being silly in high school. mostly quiet, which made the silly and goofy stand out even more when it popped up. the fact that you know it’s in there somewhere will be enough, i have decided. just let it out. and you’re right, the girls will love it. possibly if you’re silly after a dessert denial, it won’t be taken the wrong way, but more: ‘nothing personal. life goes on. just pick it up in the shower. now let’s all do our best motorboat impression.’
The lack of silliness is why I wrote my “Some People are Not Fun” post. I wish more people would lighten up. Bad stuff is going to happen, as well as the daily
responsibilities of life, so why not try to cut loose or seize the chance to be goofy whenever you can.
Laughter is good medicine 🙂
How I yearn for the days of my silliness! Even just a year ago I had a sense of humor. Where did it go? Like you, I am bogged down by the day to day grind of raising kids, paying bills, cleaning the house, etc…
cockamamie – ha!
Silliness is fun but random and sporadic. I don’t know that I can think of a way to act silly – it just happens. I’m sure your kids love their silly mommy moments(every once in a while)!
You are certainly not alone. I feel the goofiest when my older daughter is here. I don’t know why but she brings out the kid in me:-)
I think for a long time I believed (unconsciously) that to be taken seriously by my kids, I had to BE serious. When I disciplined them, I tended to act unhappy because (I think) I believed that it was the only way they’d “get it”.
But I was equating good discipline with anger (or at least intensity). A wise counselor once told me that kids equate anger with rejection. Yikes. I realized I didn’t want to motivate with anger or fear. Once I got that and decided to be firm but kind, it was a lot easier to lighten up. And *I* became naturally happier because I was able to laugh at the absurdity of spilt milk and footprints on walls and a boy who refuses to change his underwear. (Welcome to my life.)
I agree that at first you just have to take the plunge and be silly in spite of how foolish it feels.
Isn’t it weird that those of us who are the goofiest around our peers don’t want to look foolish in front of our kids?
Vicki –
This post tugs at my heart a little bit. I too used to get up to silly behavior. I like to tell my husband that he killed my inner child. He has always been the serious one, and his criticism of me is overwhelmingly that I am always laughing (when he is trying to be serious) or that I can’t not try to tell a joke. But – despite all this, I know that I’ve calmed down… a LOT.
In the words of Josh (the husband) “The weight of the world has crushed my fragile spirit.”
I hope I can reclaim some of my inner silliness in time to share it with my baby boy!
I lost my silly years ago. I just don’t have time any more….
<(‘(..)’)>
I’m totally with you! Every once in a while my goofy side appears and I stop and think “Where have you been? I love this feeling!” But then I get so busy with life, I think I just forget to have fun. Shawn is really good at this – when I get grumpy, he gets silly to make me smile again. The other day we were running late and I was moaning and groaning about him taking too long to get ready (I know, so backwards, right?). He came out of the bedroom wearing one of my loud-crazy-patterned-way-too-small-for-him shirts, grabbed his wallet and keys, and said “OK, I’m ready” and started out the door. I could not stop laughing!! I think I’ll make an effort at being silly again!! Thanks friend!!!
goofy hugs, Jami
Go watch videos of people falling down. It will make you laugh.
And then jump up from your laptop and do a merry jig. To some Partridge Family tunes. Get your groovy on.
Or, go to bed. We’re all super tired, no?
man, did this post strike a chord. with lots of us, it seems!! i made myself compete in the crazy dance competition our women at church hold at the annual “pj-palooza.” i was TERRIFIED. i am not silly anymore!! but guess what? they laughed at me! they thought i was funny! and i think they were inspired to silliness. i know i was. especially when my pastor’s wife competed in a group number that ended with backsides (black-tights-clad mind you) revealed wearing bright red thong panties!!! i CAN be silly. i CAN!!!
Honestly, I think just real life gets in the way. I am still silly and goofy but find that it is less and less! Maybe now that we are older, we need reminders that it is ok to be just as silly and goofy as we were back in the day!!
In September I wrote a post bemoaning the same problem called “Silly is Good.” And I think it’s harder now, what with all the gloom and doom we hear on TV every day. I find it easier to “get my silly on” with people I know won’t judge me. And it IS important to just let ourselves go…not censor ourselves. Life can be real serious, but sometimes laughing at ourselves is the best therapy there is. We’re only on this earth a short time, so we need to have all the fun we can!
Oh yea! I’m silly. Still am. I’ve been married 8 years and have five children and one on the way. If I wasn’t goofy now and then you could just lock me away in a padded room!
I do crazy things. Like in the evenings I’ll turn all the lights out in the house and chase the kids around in the dark while we all scream! “Run for your life!” 🙂
I let the kids paint their faces. But, I’ll paint a messages on their bellies and backs (mine too!) so when Daddy comes home it looks like we’re rootin’ for a hockey game! But they’ll say things like “I LOVE DAD!”
Just to make the kids laugh I’ve gotten into the bathtub with them with all my clothes on, served dessert for dinner, run through sprinklers spontaneously–like while we are on a walk to or from the library, etc.
Yes, I’m an adult who is not grown up. I’m OK with that.
Thanks for the fun post! It’s nice to know that I am not alone!!!
I’ve developed a split-personality, lol. DH does not ‘get’ silliness and actually frowns upon it. He’s much too dignified. So, I allow my type of humor to surface only with my children and grandchildren and my dear, dear, very accepting friends! We have a blast! I love people who make me laugh and help me not to take myself so seriously as I have a natural tendency to do so. You’ve got to keep using your humor while you are young or else it will rust and you will be a crusty, complaining, crotchety, crabby, cranky grouch! I know so many and they make life miserable for themselves and everyone else around them.
Thanks for reminding me that a merry heart does good, like a medicine!
Well – the kids help. I think that being silly for them keeps us feeling younger. But you’re right – I find that I’m really forcing it sometimes.
I am TOTALLY silly! And love it! And love when others are! I do all of the above and more! I love to jump rope in the driveway, decorate crazily for every holiday, force my husband to play games like I spy and clapping games with me. The other day, he had to grab the umbrella from my car to use at work, (it is shaped like a blue bear with 3-D ears that stick up) and everyone was completely baffled because WE DON’T HAVE CHILDREN and they couldn’t figure out who would use that! It also has a toy whistle attached to the handle with a little lanyard and one of his co-workers was just like “Why is there a whistle?” and he simply said “She’s whimsical.” Don’t you love that?
There’s nothing like real life responsibilities to suck the goofy out of you. But my son did tell me the other day, “Mama, I’m glad you’re not serious all the time like other moms.” I must be doing something right!
I totally “get” you. I feel the same. Though I did dance in Dollar Tree a few months ago and my 11 year old acted as those she just saw me pee on the floor on purpose. She could have caught a few flies with that open mouth, and killed a few hundred people if looks could kill.
She doesn’t understand how goof-cool I really am when I’m not ticked off about all the messes.
Another thin, I remember wondering why moms and dads don’t lie on the floor to watch TV, propped up by their elbows. I did that up until a year ago, when we moved into a house with hardwood floors. But my parents don’t have an excuse, we always had carpet.
Well, when person gets in some “serious age” it is natural if he/she gets serious (for some people it doesn’t happen, and for some people it is “Finally, man!”). I am almost thirty and I never was kind of goofy (eve I had my days). I wish I was goofing more when I was younger, but I don’t think that now is too late. When you have kids, there is your chance to goof (like I do). In front of your colleagues at work you can be serious, but with kids you can be on your own.