Feminine Glory

One of the great things about my husband’s line of work is the fact that he can retire after twenty years and then find a whole new line of work and do that for twenty years. Two retirement funds when it actually comes to the age of retirement. SWEET!

Another great thing is the balls that we get to attend. I don’t just heart balls, I absolutely love and adore them. There’s nothing better than spending the day primping and pampering, putting on the dress just minutes before leaving the house, and then feeling magical the whole night. Floating on air, feeling like the most beautiful woman in the room. In this respect I was destined to become some kind of princess. Since there’s royalty in neither his nor my lines I’ll have to settle for queen for a night. The Queen of the Middle Class.

I have been getting my fair share of magazines lately (Garden & Gun, hurry your butt up and show up in my mailbox!) and there have been plenty of wonderfully beautiful confections that my mouth has watered over. I’m going to share my three favorite with you today.

I saw this one in the Neiman Marcus catalog. This magical Carmen Marc Valvo number would set me back $3,630.00. Hmm, not for the Queen of the Middle Class. During this season of Project Runway the designers had to make an outfit out of parts they collected from a car. I immediately started screaming at the tv that someone should make a seat belt dress. Ever since then, it’s like ESP or something, I’ve seen many wrap dresses like this in all shapes and forms. This by far is the most beautiful. If I had the sewing skills I would so try to pull this one off. I couldn’t stand the embarrassment of my dress unraveling on me during the ball though. Rest assured I’d be striking the pose above! Can anyone photoshop my face onto her?

This exquisite number is by Alexander McQueen. I might be the McQueen of McDonald’s, but with a “price upon request” listed by the dress I know I’m no match. Unfortunate. I would have worn it to the ball and then for the whole week afterwards. Re-pleating when necessary. I doubt I’d pick the same head piece though (and it’s actually for sale…price upon request).

I could try to strike that pose in that dress. It looks elegant yet alluring. I’m all about that. For $7,020 though I could have me a lot of great things, including a used car. While searching for pics of this dress online I came upon the actual runway shot at Marios Schwab’s show. The following picture is less flattering of the dress if you ask me.

This shows exactly what good lighting and a great photographer can do. This picture directly above looks like someone sneezed black snot all over this lady. It looks more like a floor-length jumpsuit than a beautiful gown. And look at that clear open patch around her…ahem…yoohoo…  Isn’t that what your eye was drawn to? Don’t tell me it wasn’t. She looks like a straight board without any curves, and that’s exactly what I’d look like too. Maybe that’s why they had the chick in the library stand like she’s about to fall over. So, on second thought, strike this option. Good thing too. It would have hurt to have to pay that much to look that bad.

I had an extra piece for you, but it’s late and I don’t want to fight with my scanner right now. I’ve been getting Lucky magazines, so you can guess it would not have been a great look I would be showing you. I can’t find the look on the Lucky website…no doubt why not. The person who threw that look together was probably fired. Alas, the unveiling must wait for another day.

Thanks to everyone who left great comments for me yesterday. I’m determined not to let my seriousness overtake me. I will get my goofy on with my girls. Thanks for the encouragement.