Mothers…sigh

Reagan’s ballet class had its parent watch day today. Not being anywhere near what one could consider a dance mom, I had totally forgotten about this and was trying to convince another mom to skip out on class and go to Starbucks with me. She, not being a dance mom, but still having a little bit of sense in her brain reminded me that our attendance would probably be missed.

Once I “remembered” that it was parent watch day I was happy to go in and watch these eight little girls tendu, pliΓ© and battement all in a line along the barre with their instructor calling out movements and trilling her voice every once in a while when she was either pleased or surprised or dismayed.

Imagine my surprise when, amongst the girls practicing at the barre, a boy, maybe 4 or 5, went rolling across the floor. He started at one end of the room and slowly rolled his body halfway across the room. And even then his own mother didn’t do too much to get him back over to her.

Believe you me, had that been my child he would have made about one half of a roll before he would be snatched up and given a talking to. Nothing from this mother, not one single word or admonishment. Not even a, “now Johnny, give your sister a turn in the lime light, you silly little mama’s boy.”

My friend and I just gave each other the look. Do parents have to be taught common sense rules nowadays?

That’s par for the course for the mothers of this class though. Every week the girls go to class and the boys (including body-mop above) run around the tiny waiting area, yelling, screaming, fighting, running, and being oblivious to every other person in the waiting area. The most that is ever done is a mother might ask her son to please quiet down.*

Lady, you need to tell your son to quiet down. Body-mop’s mom needed to snatch his butt off the floor as soon as he started wiggling away from her.

These are the mothers that are raising these boys who are, in years to come, going to want to date my daughters. I have a vested interested in their child rearing and what I see from many mothers today scares me.

*Since when has it become common practice to ask our kids to do things (like behave)? If you want your child to do something then tell him. And then expect him to obey. And then hold him accountable if he doesn’t. Common sense, right? When you ask him you’re naturally giving him the option to say either yes or no. Take control and take that option away by telling him what to do.

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16 thoughts on “Mothers…sigh

  1. I am so with you- at the park yesterday a 6ish-year-old girl purposefully knocked my 17-month-old off the stairs (3 steps up) to the slide, yelling, “Move baby!” and her mom only said, “Janie, watch where you are going.” What?!!

    • Vicki says:

      That irritates the snot out of me. I’m not usually aggressive unless someone is messing with one of my kids. Good for you for not doing bodily harm πŸ™‚

  2. remember you don’t have to worry about your lovely girls because they are going to be arranged with my boys…. πŸ™‚ Cased solved
    that is crazy the mom didn’t say anything. I think I would have. I am surprised the teacher didn’t.

  3. dandelionmom says:

    Preach it Sista!! I saw a mom with not one but TWO body-mop daughters-they were 6 and 8 and throwing coins andling after them in an elementary gym at…wait for it..DOG TRAINING CLASS!! LOL (and yes-her dog was better than the kids)

  4. This is a pet peeve of mine. I resented how strict my mother was when I was younger but I assure you that as an adult, I completely appreciate the training I received. Some of these children should be on leashes and kept in crates — NOT the dogs! πŸ™‚

    Had I had children, I would definitely have followed that example.

  5. The ‘asking’ thing makes me crazy. They have parents because the parents know better–not to get permission to use the knowledge first! Will they ‘ask’ if the kid wants to be pulled out of a burning car? I don’t think so!

  6. Kelley says:

    Our daughter-in-law has been dealing with Emma’s difficult moods lately and mentioned something about thinking before doing …Emma made the statement that “God forgot to give me commonsense.” I didn’t know a four year old knew what common sense was!

  7. Oh, yes I totally agree with you. And if a parent (or a daycare-providing grandparent such ai I) sets clear expectations and if there are consequences, then at least SOME of the time you can speak to them gently and they will remember to do the right thing. But if you never set those limits, then a gentle “reminder” will never work.

    (Stopping by from BPOTW)

    • Vicki says:

      I often wonder if these parents who never set expectations and are never consistent, I wonder if they are constantly stressed and frustrated. I think I have well-behaved kids (most of the time) and parenting is still tough. I can’t imagine what parents go through who have kids that run the house instead of them! And, way to go being a daycare-providing grandparent!!

  8. I remember when I was told for the first time what you said about telling, not asking…I never had thought about it before! I’m thankful to be surrounded with good mothers to learn from…and that I can make lots of mistakes before I have my own children!

    • Vicki says:

      Ronnica, you’re right, you have the perfect kid preparation job at church! It’s good to be watching parents, learning what you should and should not do. Our first house was around many people who were older than us and had kids ranging from babies to teens. We saw a lot of stuff that we wanted to emulate and a lot of stuff we knew we would not do. How did that person inform you about the asking vs. telling the kids?

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