Pimping the blog

I know I’m getting several new readers a day during this Weblog Award voting (hey there!), so I’m going to take this post to pimp my other blog: Best Posts of the Week.

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Best Posts of the Week is a blog dedicated to highlighting the best posts each week from bloggers. And it’s easy to participate: just submit the link of your best post! 

The idea for BPOTW was born when I got tired of spending too much time surfing for great content and wanted it to come to me. I wanted to spend time reading the posts and not clicking around trying to find them. Now you can reap the rewards!

Click on overand give it a try! Look back through the posts you wrote this week and send me the link to your best one. I’ll get it linked up on the list that will be posted Saturday morning. And while you’re over at BPOTW take a look through some of the posts that were submitted last week.

Thanks for coming to this blog to check me out. Hopefully you’ll vote for me and then click on through to BPOTW!

Potty Mouth

Why can’t any of our animals be sane? I mean really. A normal animal isn’t too much to ask for is it? Not only are our cats wool suckers and therefore have to continue to (pretend to) nurse for the rest of their natural lives, one of them is a potty mouth. Literally.

Both cats like fresh water. Every morning they’re pushing each other out of the way to get their faces under the running water in the kitchen sink. They’ve even resorted to batting our hands out of the way. But Buzz, the little special kitty that he is, also likes to drink out of the toilet. Many of you with cats are thinking, “so what, that’s what cats do,” but this one is now insisting on a freshly flushed toilet. He used to wait patiently outside of the little toilet room that we have in our bathroom. As soon as you’d flush the toilet he’d saunter in, wait for you to leave and then jump up there and do his business drinking from his own personal water fountain.

He’s become bold though. It’s like he’s got to get to the water as soon as it’s running into the bowl. You can imagine what problems this could present…can’t you? Say your husband is using the potty. He’s a guy and you know how guys “go”. Buzz, the idiot, almost jumps right up there in the stream of things trying to wait for the immediate nanoseconds after the flush. And me–Buzz has begun to practically head butt me off the toilet in order to get to the water. I’m not even done yet stupid cat!

Now, not only am I being bothered in the loo by my kids, but I can’t even have peace from my animals. It’s going to come down to me pulling evasive maneuvers while running to the potty, slamming the door behind me, throwing the lock and maybe using a deadbolt or long stick or something for added measure. Oh, and earplugs to drown out the crying and meowing that would ensue from the other side.

Nothing in life is free…

…so when two girls show up at your door promising to clean one of your room’s carpets for free–because they’re starting up a new business–and all they ask for in return is an honest opinion and to spread the word if you like them–don’t believe that it’s really free.

Because I did and what I got was close to two hours of a sales pitch for a vacuum cleaner. Yes, y’all, I was snookered today. And they ended up not even cleaning the whole room.

I have to set the stage. I’ve had it up to about my eyeballs with how dirty our living room carpet is getting. Each day I go in there and just walk out because it disgusts me. There’s a tea stain or two. A dirt stain. A long tape trail (free advice here: never secure a tv cable to berber carpet with duct tape. The tape comes up but the sticky does not. And all that’s left is dirt attaching itself to the sticky until there are two long black lines on your nice cream colored berber carpet).

All I could see when I would walk into the living was the tape trail. And I even tried my little Green Bissel Dirt Machine or whatever it’s called. It looked clean until the carpet dried. And then the two black lines just got dirtier and dirtier.

So, you see, I was at my wits end. A friend just had her carpets cleaned before Christmas and I asked her this very afternoon which company she used. I was planning on making the call this very afternoon to schedule an appointment when who should appear at my door? Why two little carpet cleaning fairies who were sent by God to save me money!

And all I had to do was spread the word. SCORE!!! I even Twittered about the “blessing from God”. The little fairies left promising to be back in an hour. Not too long after they left I heard another knock at the door. They were back! A clean carpet awaited me!

Wait, there were two men outside my door. Oh well, these were two of the guys helping to start the business. Actually, one of them was the “owner” starting up the business and left the other one to clean my carpet and “be my maid for the hour”. I thought it was weird that there wasn’t a huge tube coming out of the white van parked in front of my house. Don’t all carpet cleaning businesses own a van with a big tube coming out of it that sucks up all the dirty water? And what were these two suitcase-sized boxes the man was carrying? What good were they going to do?

 As my maid began unpacking those boxes, talking a mile a minute, he began assembling something right before my eyes. It. was. a. vacuum. I think at that moment you probably felt the universe sigh for me. I was trapped in a vacuum demonstration! When was he going to clean my carpet? I had to get ready for my anniversary date soon. How long was this going to take?

After oh, twenty minutes of him going over all the bling on this special vacuum he actually squirted some foam on a stain on the carpet. Then he left it there and went on to talk about more vacuum bling. He was vacuuming my walls, y’all. He wanted to vacuum our tv. Our new flat screen-Du-will-kill-you-if-you-breathe-on-it-wrong-tv. VACUUM OUR TV!

I stopped him there. I then explained to him that we were going to have to leave soon and that I didn’t realize this was a sales demonstration. I was upfront that the carpet cleaning fairies vacuum hags had made it sound like it would be a carpet cleaning and that’s it. He sat in stunned silence for a minute and then began talking even faster and running around my house vacuuming things promising that he’d condense his spiel, but that he had to do it or he wouldn’t get paid. I just wanted to yell at him, “clean my freaking carpet like you promised!”

After spending five minutes vacuuming two square feet of our mattress trying to scare us and gross us into dust mite fright he finally got around to shampooing that black streak across the carpet. I was wringing my hands at this point. I didn’t care that the rest of the living room floor hadn’t been touched. I just wanted that stupid streak gone.

The “owner” finally made it back here and began talking actual numbers. We were quoted close to $2400 for a vacuum cleaner (I didn’t my parents didn’t even pay that much for my first car…twice over). We told him we’d go no higher than $500. When all was said and done we left my maid in the driveway waiting for the white van to come pick him up. We actually left our house for our date before the vacuum salesman did.

So don’t believe the carpet fairies when they show up at your door promising to clean a room for free that very day! You do owe them something. YOU OWE THEM YOUR TIME. Time from your life that you will never get back. And right now only time will tell if that tea stain and black streak will actually stay gone. You know how stains tend to reappear after carpets are professionally cleaned and the carpet dries. If they stay gone then I will consider it the best one hour and forty minutes I ever spent being held hostage by a spastic vacuum salesman. And my walls are clean.

P.S. Has anyone out there ever bought one of these vacuums?

Lucky 13

wedding

13 Years
156 Months
676 Weeks
4,749 Days (including leap days)
113,976 Hours
You get the point

We’ve been married for thirteen years. Today!

Over those 13 years:

  •  we have moved over six times. The longest we’ve lived somewhere has been four years.
  • we’ve purchased two vehicles and have traveled to so many places in them.
  • speaking of traveling we’ve been to at least 13 countries and around 28 states.
  • we’ve attended five churches and have loved everyone of them and how they’ve shaped us.
  • we’ve had two children and can’t imagine life before them…although there was six years after marriage before the first one.
  • we’ve had three pets…two still with us.
  • we’ve gone through three deployments and countless TDYs. When possible I’ve moved with him, be it only for six weeks.
  • we’ve shared inumerable laughs, tears, deep discussions, jokes that only we understand.
  • we’ve continued to grow closer together, and closer to God. He has bound and secured our relationship and I give all credit to Him.

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    I love you honey!

 

My Love/Hate

I had a relationship with her a couple of years ago. She was great for my self esteem and I remember being a much happier and peaceful person when we were a team. We were together for maybe a year…or less. Then I moved and didn’t bother to pick back up the relationship.

There’s a side to her though that I just don’t get. I think I dropped her when we moved because she could be demanding. And would remind me of just how lazy I was sometimes. I think I just needed a break.

It’s time to bring her back into my life though. I’ve gone on feeling lazy and incomplete and well, just blah for too long. I’m willing to team back up with her again to see if I can turn this lazy, messy, unclean life of mine around.

Yes, I have a love/hate relationship with……the Fly Lady.

I know! You were all excited and like, “she’s going to spill some guts here! Now we get the dirt!” And I was all, “it’s dirt, but it ain’t that kind of dirt.”

I’m getting rid of the dirt around here. And if you know Fly Lady you know I’m not talking about the dirt that’s cleaned everyday, like the counters or the floors. I’m talking about base boards, and fan blades, and blinds, and oven fans. I know. Pray for me. I hate cleaning, but I love me some Fly Lady. She’s reconciled me to at least enjoying the feeling of the accomplishment of cleaning before. Let’s hope she hasn’t lost her touch.

I just created my lists and am printing them out as we speak. Yes, I’m becoming a list person again. Or at least attempting to. I’m laminating the lists y’all so I can mark on them everyday and then wipe off and start over again the next day. I’m not going to be able to stand it.

So, if I don’t blog again for about a month just know where I am. Knee deep in dust bunnies that have been collecting for the last six months…

Who needs internet play when I could be cleaning all freaking day.

That’s my new motto, said in the most facetious tone possible. Feel free to incorporate into your own credo.

**EDITED to say: Wow at all you nay sayers! First let me qualify my depth of participation with the Fly. I do not dress down to the shoes. Our carpet is already gross enough. I’ll try to do the sink thing, but I’m no where near worried about whether there’s a spot or two…or ten on it. My goal is to stay on top of the housework and never let it get to a point that feels overwhelming. A little a day will prevent me from having to do all day cleanings like I do now.

MY version of Fly Lady consists of making my lists of daily things to do and then the monthly deep cleaning that’s done a little  a day. I don’t take a break every hour for fifteen minutes to clean or whatever she suggests.

So there! I’m doing the Not So SAHM version of Fly Lady, which is much less drastic I think. And no, Dandelionmom, please don’t send reinforcements…unless they’re going to shine my sinks for me.

##EDITED AGAIN to say. I don’t get the Fly’s emails. I signed up for the emails for about .763 days and promptly unsubscribed. Who needs all that pressure? I’ve created enough pressure with my daily/weekly sheets I’ve created. Maybe I’ll post those for you so you’ll see that although I may seem crazy…it’s really not that bad.