My idiot self

…or how I tried to donate big bucks to Victoria’s Secret.

Saturday we got an alert from our bank that there was a withdrawal for a large sum. It was a very large sum to Victoria’s Secret. “Holy crap!” I thought, “someone got that Christmas BIG-Wish List catalog from VS and just bought the diamond studded bra. With our money!” Oh no they di-unt! I was instantly peeved that someone was going to steal our information and then go shopping at Victoria’s Secret. At 7:30 on a Saturday morning even.

We made calls to our bank. Panicky calls. We made calls to Victoria’s Secret. Panicky calls. I was ready to do my duty and become a detective. I was going to find this person and personally rearrange some body parts. They would not be able to wear or give away a diamond studded bra after I was finished with them.

That was until the bank person told us, “someone with account access scheduled a bill to be paid to a Victoria’s Secret credit card account.”

Uh. Oops…

Technology is a double-edged sword that cuts through the archaic methods of yesteryear yet comes dangerously close to dealing the fatal blow to your credit rating.

Technology is fire, necessary for sustaining life and yet so capable of consuming life if it gets out of hand.

Technology is a two-faced woman who is ready to be your best friend one minute and then rip you to shreds the next only to have you find out a day or two after once your reputation has been tarnished and you have to work feverishly to repair the damage.

Technology is what we use to pay our bills. We don’t write checks anymore. A couple of clicks at the beginning of each month and I don’t have to think about bills again for the rest of the month. It really is a time saver. If you use it properly.

Or you could be an idiot like me. On the bank site we use, all of our bills (current and ancient) are listed alphabetically. One of our credit cards is right above the Victoria’s Secret account.

Pause.

Yes, I had a VS account. Their undies are the only ones that fit properly. Ahem. The account has not, however, been active for several years, so I do not know, for the life of me, why the VS account information is still on our list.

But it is. And this is where my idiocy comes in. I’ve gotten so proficient at bill paying that I can just point and click my way down the list now. I’m so fast and sure of myself that I don’t even double-check my work. Pride comes before a fall, shall we say. And I no longer have anyone’s butt to kick but my own.

P.S. I did a little research to see if VS still does that outrageous Christmas Catalog. I found out they indeed have a diamond studded bra for sale this holiday season. I choked a little. It costs just a teeny bit more than the amount taken from our account. (Don’t click on that link unless you’re a girl.)

My boots were stolen

When something’s stolen from you, right off your feet practically, there’s only one thing to do.

Go shopping.

I was notified of an amazing sale on 6pm.com the other day. The RSVP brand was going to list all of their shoes at $6.95 precisely at midnight. It was only 10:30 at the time so I immediately went over there to scope out the situation. I wasn’t in love with any of the shoes I saw, but lo and behold! their boots were going to be on sale too! I could find me some boots that looked half decent for $6.95.

The first issue was finding any styles that were still available in my size. This sale must have been to completely eliminate their stock because I could barely find anything to fit. One pair of boots remained in my size, that looked remotely cute. They were something like this:

although not quite. I can no longer find the boot because they are totally out of boots.
So, squeal with me, as I remember that I put them in my shopping cart and waited the forever long time until midnight. As the minutes ticked slowly towards 12:00 I kept refreshing my page. Yes, the boots were still in my cart and no, the sale had not started early.

Minutes.

ticked.

by.

Finally! It was midnight! I refreshed the page! The boots were still in my cart! Wait. Wha? The sale wasn’t on. What was going on?

I waited until 12:01. No sale.

12:05. No sale.

I had been dreading this in the back of my mind and now my fears were being realized. The sale was not going to begin until midnight, Pacific time. That’s 3:00 am for me. Resigned at the horrible misfortune of living on the East Coast (and I will never say or write that again. Get a good look.) I closed my computer and decided not to wake up in the middle of the night to get these $6.95 boots.

I know. Sometimes I don’t think things through enough. Sometimes I’m just not smart. Sometimes I’m a horrible sale shopper. I need therapy (wait).

I woke up, earlier than normal, but still not at 3am. This computer doesn’t take long to boot up at all so it didn’t take me but one minute to realize my mistake. And my boots had been stolen from me, almost right off my feet. I am painfully aware that what you place in your online basket is not really yours until the electronic payment has made its way through the ether. Especially if it was really good sale stuff. Just ask Gymboree why I will never shop online with them ever again (I do get bitter every once in a while).

So, when something’s stolen from you, practically right off your feet, there’s only one thing to do.

I went shopping.

DSW was kind enough to send me a consolation email. They had no clue they were consoling me, but I give them all the credit. A cute little clutch purse was mine for the taking.

All I had to do was buy $20 worth of product. At a shoe website?

Not. a. problem.

I quickly forgot the what’sthename boots from my shopping brain fart and found these babies:

Not quite $7. But I did get them majorly on sale anyway (over half off). And I got that cute clutch for free (in that cool grey color). And I got free shipping. Yay me!

So, all’s well that ends well. And all’s fair in love and shopping wars. Let bygones be bygones. And all those other sayings.

I can’t wait to rock these out.

What the #?

Twitter is a lot of fun. I enjoy getting everyone’s updates, from celebrities to political figures to homegrown friends. It’s a great way to stay on top of things…until there’s a hashtag party I’m not involved in. Then my twitter page gets filled with all these stupid tweets about crayons and gno’s (girls night out) and Nestle products. Now, I love crayons and Nestle products and definitely girls’ nights out and I like the people who tweet about them. I just don’t want to see all the tweets.

Hashtags, for those of you uninitiated with Twitter (yet), are a way for people to find what you’re tweeting about. It’s like tagging blog posts so your content is easier found. If you place a hashtag in your tweet then it becomes easier to search and find. For instance, if I wanted to congratulate Sugarland for their win last night I could tweet something like: “Congrats on another win Sugarland! You owe it all to Agnes Scott, right!? #CMA”

Just say Crayola decided to have a Twitter party and everyone involved would use the hashtag #Crayola. I would get a lot of freaking tweets about how “crayons are awesome! #Crayola” or “crayons were all I got to play with growing up. #Crayola” or “did you know they’re the perfect size to fit up kids’ nostrils? #Crayola.” Just supposing…not insinuating that this actually happened (but it did).

I am begging Twitter to come up with a way to hide those hashtag subjects! It would make me, and others, a whole lot happier. And it wouldn’t hurt in the slightest the people who were wanting to play along. Truthfully, they’re all talking to and amongst themselves anyway. I’m forced to be eavesdropping. I Googled to see if there was a way to hide certain hashtags and there are plenty of people in internetland who are as sick of it as me. No luck though on a solution.

Twitter…or one of you Twitter-based softwares out there, come up with an option to hide those hashtags we don’t want to be eavesdropping in on. Get with the 21st century! #hidethehashtags!

The children’s brains are mush

Alternate title: Sometimes sitting your kids in front of the tv for a multi-day movie marathon can be a life saver.

Our girls normally get to watch one movie a day and sometimes they even forget to ask for one. Since we don’t have cable or the new antenna thingy to watch HD tv there’s not a lot of tv watching going on here on a regular basis.

Until someone gets sick.

Last week Ashlyn was feverish for two days and so I let her watch several movies each day as Reagan and I did school. This week it was my and Reagan’s turns. Tuesday afternoon the body ache started and by Wednesday morning I felt a little like death warmed over. That has continued throughout today. Reagan has bounced around in regards to how she’s feeling. Wednesday she spent most of the day passed out on the couch not aware that there was a rare movie marathon going on. Today she felt better though and partook fully.

So while I’m in bed feeling like I’ve been hit by a WMATA bus (which isn’t all that uncommon around here) I think it’s ok to stick the kids in front of the tv with several…dozen…ahem movies. What’s crazy to me is that they choose the exact. same. movies. to watch over and over again. Hello, I’m ready to shove Barbie Mermadia down the toilet and plunge it until it dissolves into a thousand tiny pieces. I could quote the movie by now if I actually paid attention to it. The same goes for Barbie and the Diamond Castle or whatever the stupid name is.

In fact, I hate Barbie right now, but she and the Veggie Tales gang are babysitting my kids so I can’t complain too much. Maybe I’ll use those DVDs for skeet shooting practice once I’m all better.

Shame on Virginia (and I mean the whole state)

Recently Virginia has been in the homeschool news for refusing to give homeschooled children the H1N1 vaccine. I’m going to rant a little. May I remind the state of Virginia that just because we choose to keep our children out of public school (and that includes privately schooled children, however, I do not know if they faced the same discrimination) doesn’t mean we are exempt from paying taxes. My husband’s tax dollars have a chunk taken out so each public schooled child can receive an average of $9,963 for schooling. We get NONE of that. His tax dollars also go towards the research and development of the vaccine itself.

And since when is it even ethical to prevent some children from receiving a vaccine, when other children of the same age, grade, and health status can receive it? To deny a child the access to a vaccine just because he isn’t schooled in the public system is morally wrong. Deny pencils? Sure. Deny something that the government thinks can save lives? Outrageous.

Alexandria officials claimed, “that it was the school’s property, and they could decide who comes on it.” That is completely ridiculous. We’re not talking about soccer games here. A southwest Virginia area official told one mom, “We’re saving the vaccine for public school students.” Again, horrifying! What if they had said, “we’re saving the vaccine for students who can see” or “we’re saving the vaccine for white students.” All three are discriminatory since no one can claim ownership of a public vaccine. We are not second-class citizens. Their reactions should have been, “oh wow, you’re right, we need to figure out a way for every eligible child to be vaccinated.” But it’s not their problem is it? Let someone else worry about that.

I don’t know the true motives of these officials in Virginia, but to me it seems like some people are brooding (and breeding) some hatred towards kids who don’t follow the leader or go with the flow. OR, maybe they just have their heads in the sand and don’t think broadly enough about issues. I cannot see any excuse or explanation as being a valid one on this issue.

Whether I choose to vaccinate my homeschooled child is my choice. But if other kids have the ability to be vaccinated mine should have that exact same ability. End of story. Am I missing something? I would welcome any official from Virginia to try to give me an explanation as to why it is ok to deny some children the right to receive a public vaccine.

If you are interested in the full context and the follow-up of the issue please read the article below. It is taken in its entirety from the Homeschool Legal Defense Association (HSLDA) Website and can be found here: “We’re Saving the Vaccine For Public School Students” It states that as of now homeschooled children should be able to get the vaccine at public health departments. But should it have even been an issue to begin with?

A southwest Virginia mother of two brought her children to the public health department for an H1N1 vaccination. They told her, “We’re saving the vaccine for public school students.” A northern Virginia mom asked the Alexandria school system if her kids could be vaccinated with the others. They promptly rebuffed her.

What does HSLDA have to do with flu vaccinations? Everything—if homeschoolers are being discriminated against.

HSLDA Senior Counsel Scott Woodruff called the Alexandria officials, but they refused to budge, insisting that it was the school’s property, and they could decide who comes on it. For the mom at the other end of the state, Woodruff called a state health department official, who promptly placed a call to southwest Virginia, and the homeschooled children got the vaccinations. One of her children had a respiratory issue.

Woodruff followed up with the state official and asked if unvaccinated children would get priority treatment at local public health departments consistent with their status as members of a “target group” the Center for Disease Control has identified. The surprising answer: no. She said that homeschooled children—who don’t have access to all the convenient public school vaccination events—would have to get in line and be treated like people who are not in a target group.

Confronted with this totally unsatisfactory situation, Woodruff sent a memo to the state commissioner of health.

This began a chain of events that lead to a statewide conference call with Woodruff, Yvonne Bunn of Home Educators Association of Virginia, Parish Mort of Organization of Virginia Homeschoolers, Dr. Karen Remley, state commissioner of health, Dr. Diane Helentjaris, state office of epidemiology, and others. Woodruff asked Remley to instruct local public health departments to set aside special times each week when unvaccinated children would receive priority treatment. Bunn and Mort agreed that more needed to be done for homeschooled children.

Remley made no commitment during the conference call, but a few days later she agreed with Woodruff’s request and began instructing public health departments to set up (at least) weekly pediatric vaccination clinics.

Many parents have good reasons to not vaccinate their children. But for those who want it, they can now expect their children, as members of a target group, to have equitable access when the vaccine is available at public health departments.

In a follow up conference call, Remley said that she expects there will be enough vaccine for everyone who wants it by December. Until then, the key word is patience.

I don’t care, you’re still going to school

When I was growing up I never missed a day of school because I was sick. Not that I never was sick, mind you. In order for me to miss school there had to be blood, or a dangling eyeball, or something kind of serious like that. And unfortunately there never was.

I remember times when I was in class and I’d start coughing. Not just the light, once or twice, clearing your throat kind of cough, but the kind where you cough so hard you gag. I never actually let it get that bad in class, because by then I had bolted into the hallway to get a drink from the water fountain. And, of course, what would happen as soon as I left the room? I’d stop coughing, get some water anyway and then head back to class. But as soon as I got settled and comfortable back into my seat the cough would return.

It still happens to me to this day. In church. In line at stores. On the bus/metro. Generally places where it’s quiet, I’m trapped, and people are crammed around me. My kids are the same way. Stupid genes. So when I was thinking about the title of this post I wasn’t really thinking of my own childhood though. I was thinking about my own progeny who tend to get sick every once in a while. And by sick I mean coughing like it’s a contest. Who can cough the loudest, the longest, the fastest, right in my face, etc. I’m left with the dilemma of how far I spread their germs. We. are. busy. Two dance classes, two gymnastics classes, AWANA, church, my Bible study, grocery shopping. We’re out every day of the week.

Making all of those public appearances puts us around lots of people. So we have to cancel a lot of those appearances. I cringe because of the money we’re losing for each missed class (who’da thunk teaching little kids how to point their toes was so expensive).

There’s one thing Reagan doesn’t have to miss because of any illnesses: school. She has the good fortune of being able to go to school whether she’s completely healthy or coughing up her lungs through her nostrils. The only time we don’t do school when she is sick is when she can’t even sit up in bed, and that rarely happens. We miss more school doing field trips than being sick. There’s no incentive to pull a Ferris Bueller-style trick to get out of going to school. When you live in your school room there’s not much you can do to get away from it. Not that she ever complains much, but if she ever does…I don’t care, you’re still going to school.