Not So SAHM

 Warning: This post ended up being way longer than I expected.

 It’s amazing how you can be trucking along in life, in the fast lane, getting things done and generally keeping ahead of the traffic jam. Then all of the sudden you realize that you’re not in control. And instead of cruising peacefully you’re trying to keep the truck on the road, fighting against a flat tire that wants to drag you into the ditch. And in my metaphor you don’t know exactly when that flat tire happened. Maybe a little nail punctured it and the air has slowly been leaking out. Nevertheless, the vehicle is out of control and you just now are realizing you’ve got to do some NASCAR-like crash avoidence…or end up in the ditch trying to pick up the pieces after the crash.

I don’t have some huge big secret to spill here about why my life is swerving out of control. It’s not really even swerving out of control. But I do know I don’t have control of a lot of little things. And if I don’t take little measures now it could easily get worse.

Hi, my name’s Vicki and I am organizationally challenged. Oh, and unhealthy. 

I know, bo-ring.

Here’s what I used to be like:

• worry and stress about things so I can pretend I have control over them (anybody remember me through school?).
• plan appointments, vacations, etc down to the nth degree so that every minute was accounted for.
• research, research, research for everything from childbirth to obscure stores in NYC so that I would know ahead of time what to expect.
• run cross country and work out at the gym…sometimes.

Now it seems I’ve almost swung to the polar opposite. Having kids and not having time for any of that will do it.

• I don’t worry about much at all. This is actually good, but it can lead to not being proactive as well. And it’s definitely more frustrating being reactive than proactive.
• I don’t plan for things in the obsessive way as before. This is good too because I’m not obsessed. But having things spring up on me at the last minute isn’t fun either (I need a babysitter for tomorrow during mid-day!?!? What?!?!).
• I don’t obsessively research something unless I’m trying to procrastinate and avoid doing something else. Disney, for instance was barely planned because I was in the throws of researching and setting up my business. But it happened, and it happened well.
• I would rather watch bowling on tv than go exercise. Maybe not, but that is pretty much how I feel about exercising. With the cold weather and miles to a gym (and two girls) what to do? And healthy food is boring. Give me the junk!!! My taste buds actually prefer it and I’d rather not eat during the day if it’s going to be healthy. There’s my secret to weight loss, y’all.

It doesn’t sound like much is wrong. But I’m getting the feeling that I’m letting my life happen to me instead of taking control. My life shouldn’t own me, I should own it.

(this is a good breaking point. So go potty, get something to drink, go read other blogs).

So here’s what I’m doing about it:

I am going to take the month of April to get in shape, both organizationally and physically. That’s why this post is called Accountability April. I’M GOING TO NEED SOME HELP STAYING MOTIVATED PEOPLE. These are in random order as I think about them.

• Start out drinking 2 servings of water a day and build up to 8 a day, the recommended dosage. The first week of April I’ll drink 2 a day. 2nd week, 4 a day, etc. That can’t be too hard right? Except that water is the most boring thing there is and I’d rather not drink anything than drink water. This is sick and twisted isn’t it?
• Wash my face every night. How hard can this be? I know! Where’s my self discipline?
• Eat healthy snacks in the day. I don’t know how I’m going to do this. Healthy stuff takes preparation. Even if it’s carrot sticks or red pepper slices. They still have to be prepared. Then you have to get a dip to go with it. And I’m sick of Ranch. BUT, I’m willing to try. This may actually require a little bit of money. If I can get the stuff already cut up and all nice and pretty on a platter, and it’s already prepared for me, maybe then I can do it. Raisins instead of M&Ms? Can they be chocolate covered? I realize this will require me not buying the junk at the grocery store. Actually, I don’t buy a lot of it anyway. We rarely have much junk in the house. Remember, I’d rather not eat though. So, I’m going to have to force myself to snack.
• Plan out the month on a general level. Then plan out the weeks in detail. This is where my list making powers need to be revived. I’ve abdicated my list making responsibilities to the husband. No more does he get to have all the fun.
• Clean at least 15 minutes a day. I’d love to get back to the Fly Lady way of doing things. Oh yes, back in Virginia I had my Fly Lady schedules laminated so I could mark off what I’d done during the day/week and then reuse them over and over again. My whole house was cleaned top to bottom every month…almost. All I’m asking myself is 15 minutes a day in the month of April. I will also take the month to redo my Fly Lady lists for this house…so it can be cleaned top to bottom for the next three months that we’re here.
• Bible reading every morning. I already do this, but I don’t want it to take a back seat to the exercising I’m wanting to do in the morning.
• Exercise daily. At least 30 minutes. For the first week all I’m going to ask myself to do is get up, read the Bible and then do crunches and maybe a little Denise Austin. After week 1 the weather should be warming up outside so I plan on walking, either in the morning before the girls get up or midday. I still don’t know how to resolve the gym issue. The free gym is not close and the pay gym may not have childcare available. Will have to check on that.
• Read to Ashlyn everyday. Bad Mommy.
• Have Reagan read to me everyday. Bad Mommy.
• Various other boring and sundry things that would have you ready to slit your wrists if I wrote about them. Not that you aren’t ready to do that now.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you. Would you hold me accountable this month?