Not So SAHM

Guest Post from my better half

I’m handing over the blog reins to my husband for a post. Many of you have seen his handywork in the comments of some of my posts, setting the record straight where I “obviously” needed to be corrected. Now, without further ado–unedited, unfiltered (obviously, since there are glaring half-truths about me):

Our Saturday (through the eyes of the man of the family)

After working for 12 days in a row, I was looking forward to a weekend. Time with the family, time to catch up on some chores, some reading, maybe even go into town. Well, Fri night I tell Vicki, “let’s go to KC Sat.” She says “great” but I can tell by the look on her face that she really wants me to do the planning. OK. No problem. A few internet searches and between Fri night and Sat morning I have 3-4 places to go. Sat morning, Reagan throws out two more. OK then, flush my ideas. We’ll go to Paradise Park. It’s a kid focused “edutainment” center that has activities where kids play and learn at the same time.

Like the good driver I’m trying to be, I have a blue tooth hands free set for my cell phone. That’s what I use when I drive so I don’t get distracted with all of the button pushing and holding it up to my head while driving. Well, it’s an hour to civilization so I decide to give my mom a call to use that time efficiently. Good idea, right? Wrong. As soon as I connect with Mom, Ashlyn starts coughing up a lung. Then she works on the other lung. At the same time, Reagan, who now sits in the 3^rdrow of the truck because she thinks its cool, is trying to ask Vicki 101 questions on anything and everything. I also had to make a few turning decisions as the coughing and questions were going on. Then my mom was asking me questions on politics and it was making me actually think of policy positions on very complex matters. All of that put together caused what some would call a “snap”. My blood pressure goes up, I start flashing the “quiet down or I’ll whoop you” hand signals to Reagan and not so kindly ask Vicki why Ashlyn hasn’t been to the doctor again. Ahh, a stress free weekend… And I am known for my awesome stress management J

After talking with my Mom, I apologize to Vicki, Reagan, Ashlyn, the Dodge, the next door neighbor, anyone else I can think of and then take a deep breath and get a grip. We get to Paradise Park and it was not very crowded. The kids had a great time and it was nice. Reagan painted her face. She also painted a “flower” on Ashlyn’s forehead which really looked like a yellow bruise so the “looks” from other parents already started. After the pretend bank, pretend grocery store, the cooking class, eating lunch, playing in the plastic ball pit and more it was time to go.

Off to where you ask? A civil war battlefield? A sporting event? No. Shopping it is. Woohoo! I drop Vicki off at Jo-Ann fabrics and per Vicki’s request, I can take the girls anywhere I want, just not to Jo-Anns J. OK, Just kidding. She does want me to take them though so we head to the Christian bookstore. Awesome. I drive over there, open the hatch to get the stroller and …. no stroller. Vicki has taken the “permanent” stroller out of the truck. No problem, right? It’s only two kids. Well, it’s a 6 year old that asks more questions than Jeopardy participants and a 1 year old, I mean octopus, that loves destruction. I held Ashlyn most of the time but when I was picking up an item to put in the hand basket, I would put her down. Boom, off like a shot. Reagan says, “Ashlyn”, I look down to see books, a book display, wire frame and all strewn across the ground. I look around, “nothing to see here, move along” as I quickly try to reassemble the display. I needed to put Ashlyn down to look at the back of a t-shirt, she pulls everything out of my basket, then proceeds to the bottom shelf of CDs; those don’t need to be there, they look much better scattered all over the floor. “Nothing to see here, move along” as I realize my welcome, even at this fine establishment is probably wearing thin.

So, it’s off to Target. We get there and yes, they have carts. Woohoo! Ashlyn’s now in a cart. After a bathroom mishap that made someone else think they were in the girls bathroom instead of the guys, the girls and I have an uneventful time perusing every toy aisle, outdoor activities aisle, game aisle, video aisle in Target. It was a great time and after another 6 hours (just kidding), Vicki says she is ready to be done at Joanne’s and I can go pick her up.

Now, it’s off to dinner. TGI Fridays. A nice place. Vicki and I were feeling a little cocky as Ashlyn hadn’t acted up in a few weeks at a restaurant; surely we can handle her at TGI Fridays. Boy, were we wrong! The food takes a while to get there but when it does, Ashlyn woofs down over half of Reagan’s oranges. She won’t eat any macaroni, potatoes, or anything else. When the last orange is eaten, she points at the empty dish and starts screaming her head off. Not the “hey, I’m hungry, dish me up some more food” scream but the “hey, I’m having my nails pulled out by these torturers” scream. Half of the restaurant is now looking at us. OK, then. I pick up Ashlyn and try to comfort her. No joy. The waitress comes over and asks if the police need called (just kidding). We order another thing of mandarin oranges (contrary to what we would do at home) but we couldn’t let her scream her head off in public and ruin everyone else’s meal, could we? I pick her up and head for the lobby. It doesn’t even take 3 steps and she’s acting totally normal. I hang there for about 3 minutes and think, she’s OK, let’s head back. Bad move. As soon as I sit down with her in my lap, the “help me from these evil people” scream comes out. Back to the lobby. Another baby is yelling somewhere else in the restaurant. A staff lady looks at the smiling Ashlyn and says, “you wouldn’t do that, would you?” I look her straight in the eye and say, “that’s why were standing here.” She obviously doesn’t believe me that this “angel” could holler like that. Just then, I see the oranges arrive at the table. We go back, set Ashlyn down and she eats the entire thing of oranges in about 2 minutes. She’s smiling, laughing, pointing. Good old Ashlyn. Then, she eats an entire thing of mashed potatoes. I tell Vicki that this is the other Ashlyn, the first Ashlyn isn’t ours.

We have an uneventful trip home. It was a great day with the family! I hope you enjoyed reading about it.

Spring Forward or else…

Did you remember to set your clocks forward last night?

Usually I am reminded of this fact throughout the prior week. So why was this never brought up to me this year? Nothing from the radio, on the internet, from the friends network… Now, normally, missing the first hour of church wouldn’t be catastrophic. We’d miss Sunday School or Du wouldn’t be able to direct cars around the parking lot. But this Sunday we agreed to fill in for a friend to teach the Kindergarten class. We kind of needed to be there on time.

Fortunately, we made it. We owe it all to my mother. Mom, who was up way late, emailed me as soon as she got home last night to tell me about her night. She reminded me as well to set our clocks forward. Thank you, thank you, thank you for continuing to do the mom thing! I did have to finish my sewing project an hour earlier than I thought I would, because it was now an hour later than I thought it was. But I could just imagine the scene that would have transpired at the church on Sunday morning had I not checked my email…and I’m not going to go there (it involves something of the likes of the scenes in Daddy Daycare).

I do recall another spring when we forgot (were not reminded by anyone responsible) to set our clocks forward. We were living in Germany and my cousin happened to be visiting us. This was Easter weekend as well and so we were going to do the good thing and go to church on Easter. We hadn’t been attending church regularly yet, so this was going to be our coming out party so to speak. We were going to attend church, sign up, become members, and figure out where we fit in.

So, all three of us wake up, get ready, eat breakfast and head to church. None of us are the wiser about how late it really is. We walk in and hear singing. Wow, I thought, they really are fastidious about starting on time here. Note to self: cannot be late. We find a seat in the back before the singing ends. After the singing the preacher pronounces the doxology and releases everyone over to the fellowship hall. Wow, so that’s how it’s done here. A little different, but we all like a shorter service right? I find a friend and mention how short I thought the service was. “Oh, yeah” she said, “we didn’t have the little children’s church part where the pastor brings the kids up and talks to them.” “But five minutes?!?!” I say. “Vicki, it’s 9 o’clock. We’ve been here for an hour.” While I’m sinking to the floor (not in embarrassment, I’m laughing too hard) it dawns on me that this was the weekend all the clocks sprung forward in Europe.

The moral of the story is: you still need reminders from your mom even when you’re in your 30s.

Happy almost Spring, y’all! Quit whining about losing the hour of sleep and enjoy the longer daylight!

California makes it illegal to homeschool

OPEN LETTER TO THE CALIFORNIA COURT OF APPEALS

Who on GOD‘s green earth do you think you are to take away my right to teach my children at home? Since when have you become better at knowing what is best for them to learn than me? As a homeschooler I already have to jump through hoops to be able to teach at home. There are tests my children must pass in order to show that they are “keeping up with standards.”

Do you look at a few rarecases where homeschooled children fall through the cracks and don’t get a proper education? May I remind you of how bad the public school system is failing? How many publicly schooled children graduate with less than a 12th grade reading level? How many publicly schooled children graduate not knowing where countries are located on a map? How many publicly schooled children graduate knowing more about pop culture and history than American culture and history?

I would like to make it known to you that most homeschooled children graduate with knowing all of the above and more. They are capable young adults ready to enter into society (either by going to college or getting a job) and do their part to better America. They are socially active young adults who care about their communities and volunteer their time to help. They are responsible young adults who still seek the betterment of themselves and of society. And they got all of this by being taught by mom and dad.

Or is it that you disagree with what homeschooled children may be being taught or not taught at home? I believe this is the overarching fear and you use the “lack of standardized education” as a cover. Are you afraid that I will not teach my children that the government is their sugar daddy to provide for them their every need? Are you afraid that I will not teach my children that evolution is just a theory and that intelligent design makes more sense? Are you afraid that I will teach my children to worship God instead of the government? Are you afraid that I will teach my children to think for themselves and to question the government if it begins to overstep its bounds? Are you afraid that I’m going to teach my children that they don’t need to seek immediate help from the government? That they can seek help from family, friends and their church first? Are you afraid that I’m going to teach my children that there is a right and that there is a wrong and that we don’t have to accept other’s behaviors as ok? Are you afraid that I’m going to teach my children that they should not have sex before marriage? That they should not get the pill or a condom just in case? Are you afraid of me teaching abstinence? Are you afraid of me teaching my children that it’s not ok to kill a baby that is still growing in the womb?

The answer is YES YOU ARE. You want to get your hands on my children at the earliest age possible to indoctrinate them with your socialist, unchristian, ungodly, immoral ideas. After all, if you have them for twelve years or more of their lives then you can do it little by little, nothing outwardly shocking. Then they will be more likely to listen to sugar daddy government than their own parents.

May I remind you, or inform you, that not all parents that homeschool are Christian or even theistic. There are plenty who share your social, political and religious view, but yet don’t want their children lost in the flow. They don’t want little Johnnie to be one in, how many kids are in a class now, 30? They might have a child who doesn’t learn by the normal methods used in public schools (the main teaching methods in public schools are linguistic and logical-mathematical). Maybe their child can’t sit still so they choose to school him at home where he can be active while he learns.

Get off of your self-made high horse and quit taking away our rights. As governmental leaders you have the obligation to do what’s best for society. What’s best for society is to strengthen the very foundation of our society: the family. Instead of strengthening families you are attempting to destroy them. Don’t fear the family.

Oh, and my homeschooled kid can beat up your publicly schooled kid.*

Homeschooling by a God-given directive and a right afforded by the U. S. Supreme Court,

Vicki

Now, for those of you who aren’t part of the California Court of Appeals:

I am literally sick to my stomach. I’m on the verge of tears and feel like I’m going to throw up. I am having trouble finding words to express…I don’t even know what to call it. Here’s a try:

appalled
disbelieving
irate
incredulous
astonished
scared
stupefied
horrified
indignant

at what California is attempting to do. If you pray, please pray that God will intervene in whatever way possible (a huge earthquake that will make us a country of 49 states? I jest. Only a little.) to reverse this ruling. California is seriously trying to undermine the structure of the family and take away our basic rights. Once those rights are gone there is nothing left but being needy sheep.

Please don’t read what I’m not writing. I am not saying all publicly schooled children are dumb or unsocial and unwilling to contribute to society. The connotation of the court is that unlesschildren are schooled in a government controlled school then they will be detrimental to society. I am merely pointing out that not all kids graduating from public high school are ready to be contributing members of society, and not all kids graduating from homeschool are ready to be moochers of the system because they didn’t learn anything and can’t help themselves. If you’re going to comment to me to say how great public schools are, or how your kids are thriving in public education save your words, I understand they can do good. But so can homeschooling. And we should have the right to do either. And I didn’t even mention private schools, because how long do you want this diatribe to be?

If you are interested in more information:

Sign a petition to request the depublishing of the court case

Learn more about homeschooling and your rights in each state

A brief synopsis of the situation

Statistics on homeschooling, more statistics, ok just google the term “homeschool statistics” and take your pick.

*I had to add a bit of humor into my rantings. I don’t really mean it. No flames please.

Project Runway Finale = FIERCE!

Can I just say that this season of Project Runway was as close to perfect as it could get? I absolutely loved all three finalists (actually I liked all of the last five or six designers) and would have been happy with any of them winning.

Jillian – I think I liked her whole collection the best. Most of her pieces were wearable (read: something I’d wear, and would get away with wearing). The judges mentioned her detailing, and that was incredible. The knit pieces were incredible as well. That sweater with the ruffle down the front is fab.

Send this to me now.

I also liked what she was wearing for the show:

I’ll take this as well.

Rami – My personal favorite throughout the season. Although favorite is a strong word since there weren’t many that I didn’t care for. His collection, as the judges put it, was complete. There was something “from soup to nuts” as Michael Kors put it. His draping is phenomenal, and even though the judges criticized him periodically for not branching out, I applaud him for sticking to who he is. His finale collection was by far the most diverse things he’d done all season. His weaving technique of the fabric was really innovative. I loved it and would wear any of his dresses.

Amazing…

Christian – Although not as much my style, that dude can sew some clothes. He was consistently good throughout the season and won a couple of design challenges. I had picked him to win a couple weeks back just because he’s had really good designs almost every week. His attitude is a ~~little~~ lot cocky, but it’s not meaningfully derogatory; it’s mostly in jest. All in all his collection had the most “fashion” in it. By that I mean, you could see the fashion forward aspect in his clothes that most people in the fashion industry like to see.

A little over the top for my taste, but wow!

THE BEST PART

The absolute best part about Season Four was there was no cattiness. It was a big love fest most of the time. And even when designers got frustrated or sick of each other they didn’t get into fighting matches or knock down drag outs. I loved that. This is a design show. All I want to see are people designing good clothes. I don’t want to see attitude clashes just because cameras are focused on them. That’s what was great about this season. If a designer asked another one for advice most of the time they would get honest, good advice. They were out to do their best, but they weren’t out to sink everyone else.

The finale show was able to showcase that congeniality. The designers were hugging each other (and Tim Gunn was even getting in on the action) every chance they could get. And I think they were genuinely happy for each other.

gettin’ their hugs on

The only way the finale could have been better (and this would have best capped off the best season so far) would have been if all three final designers could have won. They’ll all go far because they all have amazing talent so it was a shame to see just won named “winner.”

Oh, and thank you powers that be for not forcing them to create one more look after getting back to the Parson studios just days before the runway. That’s cruel and something they’d already been doing all season. So Thank You!

Now, when can I get the whole season on DVD? Do they do that? Aahhh, I’m pleased.

I’D LIKE TO THANK:

Amy, my good friend who generously let me mooch off her tv (we don’t have cable or local channels) while she put kids to bed and cleaned her house. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! This will be a jewel in your crown, lol.

Velvet Jih@d*

Recently Tammy Bruce posted an article about Harvard allowing a women’s only time in their gym to accomodate Mu$lim women. I commented that no, it shouldn’t be allowed based solely on religion, but a time where only women could use the gym was not a bad thing in and of itself. I also made the point that men were actually the ones being gipped here because there was no male-only gym time.

I really didn’t believe it to be a big deal that these women wanted a separate workout time to accomodate the beliefs of their religion. After reading the other comments and thinking about recent events around the world I have to say that I was short-sighted. Yes, it is a huge deal that they made this request and an equally huge deal that Harvard acquiesced.

Along with their all out terroristic war against the west, the Mu$lim extremists are implementing a Velvet Jih@d against us as well. That may even be too strong of a term since this movement is still quiet and subversive. There have been mentions of its repercussions in the media, but has anyone had the balls to call it what it is?

They are using our liberties against us. They are using our fear of offending (read: political correctness) against us. They are using our culture agains us. Remember: Footbaths in airports, selective cabbies, secretive schools, veils in license photos and this is just what I’m remembering from the mainstream media. And by us I’m not just talking about the United States. The whole western world is being attacked. Don’t forget the Dutch cartoon “controversy“. In France and England (just as here) they are refusing to assimilate into a country and culture in which they are choosing to live. (I do have to say here that it’s not just extreme mu$lims that are refusing to assimilate and each refusal is slowly killing our culture and diminishing our ability to protect ourselves as a free, democtratic country.)

While out on the web I found this definition for what we are facing. Once at the site look on the left hand side at “Why Demi Watch” (I am purposefully misspelling it). No, we’re not at this point now, and I don’t ever want to be there. Here’s a British man’s definition of $haria Law in layman’s terms.

Bottom line, when it comes to our country’s security and viability of freedom (even of religion) how far are we willing to go to appease?

*Being somewhat of a conspiracy theorist (thanks honey) I have chosen to mask some words to hopefully make them less searchable online.

The moral of Aesop’s Fable (as retold by Reagan)

We’re learning more about the ancient Greeks this week in Tapestry of Grace. One of the books we are looking at is a collection of Aesop’s Fables. I explained to Reagan that a fable is a story that has a moral, or some sort of social truth, in it.

One of the fables we read was The Goose That Laid The Golden Eggs. In this fable a couple has a goose that lays golden eggs for them. They surmise that the whole inside of the goose is golden and, being greedy, want all the gold immediately. They kill the goose and examine its insides to find out it was just like any other goose.

Aesop’s moral: “Much wants more and loses all.”

Reagan’s moral: “You shouldn’t kill something just to look inside it. You should get on the computer and look on the internet first.”

She indeed is a 21st century girl.