Story Time: Clarification

Yesterday I wrote about awesome dresses that I’d love to wear to the ball. From comments I received I think I need to clarify a couple of things:

  • the ball isn’t until December (unless we also attend another one that’s next month) so I have plenty of time to pick a dress.
  • I’m cheap frugal so there’s no way I’m paying anywhere near the prices that are being asked for those gowns, even though they are beautiful. I would throw money at the sales clerk while snatching up the dress if I did have the money.

Which one would I choose if I were a real Queen? Well, obviously not the third one. We’ve established that it was a mistake to send that one down the runway. I sent out a little call for some photoshop help and Tori responded. I think the following has made up my mind for number one. Isn’t it totally me!?!?

I’m smokin’ hot in that picture! Maybe I will fork over the money for that dress. Of course it is only my head. Does the body come with the dress? So here’s this week’s Story Time: Interactive Style. Come up with a clever comment/story for the picture above. I’m thinking something forest-nymphy.

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Also yesterday I lamented that I didn’t want to fight with my scanner so late at night to bring you the latest atrocity from my favorite magazine to make fun of. Well, I fought with my scanner tonight. I lost the battle but not the war. I ended up taking a picture of the magazine page. Please tell me if anything is excusable about the outfit below…

Huh!?!? Here’s the quote: “Mixing the contrasting-but complementary-patterns creates a really gorgeous, flowing silhouette.”

It does? It looks to me like she got dressed in the dark. And if you could see her face (Ashlyn scribbled on it today) you wouldn’t see a bold, confident smile. It’s more like a “I hope no one recognizes me…are they really going to publish this?” look. Since birth I have been told not to mix prints, especially when they’re going on the body. Leave it to Lucky to buck tradition for outlandish of-the-moment costume. Am I wrong here? Am I just getting old? May I remind you that I saw not a single jump suit on any single female body above the age of six this summer and Lucky had touted it as the next big thing…

You can comment about this too.

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Last, but certainly not least, get your post submitted to me for Best Posts of the Week! Just leave a comment here with the link or head over to BPOTW and leave me the link there. I’ll get it up Saturday morning!

Feminine Glory

One of the great things about my husband’s line of work is the fact that he can retire after twenty years and then find a whole new line of work and do that for twenty years. Two retirement funds when it actually comes to the age of retirement. SWEET!

Another great thing is the balls that we get to attend. I don’t just heart balls, I absolutely love and adore them. There’s nothing better than spending the day primping and pampering, putting on the dress just minutes before leaving the house, and then feeling magical the whole night. Floating on air, feeling like the most beautiful woman in the room. In this respect I was destined to become some kind of princess. Since there’s royalty in neither his nor my lines I’ll have to settle for queen for a night. The Queen of the Middle Class.

I have been getting my fair share of magazines lately (Garden & Gun, hurry your butt up and show up in my mailbox!) and there have been plenty of wonderfully beautiful confections that my mouth has watered over. I’m going to share my three favorite with you today.

I saw this one in the Neiman Marcus catalog. This magical Carmen Marc Valvo number would set me back $3,630.00. Hmm, not for the Queen of the Middle Class. During this season of Project Runway the designers had to make an outfit out of parts they collected from a car. I immediately started screaming at the tv that someone should make a seat belt dress. Ever since then, it’s like ESP or something, I’ve seen many wrap dresses like this in all shapes and forms. This by far is the most beautiful. If I had the sewing skills I would so try to pull this one off. I couldn’t stand the embarrassment of my dress unraveling on me during the ball though. Rest assured I’d be striking the pose above! Can anyone photoshop my face onto her?

This exquisite number is by Alexander McQueen. I might be the McQueen of McDonald’s, but with a “price upon request” listed by the dress I know I’m no match. Unfortunate. I would have worn it to the ball and then for the whole week afterwards. Re-pleating when necessary. I doubt I’d pick the same head piece though (and it’s actually for sale…price upon request).

I could try to strike that pose in that dress. It looks elegant yet alluring. I’m all about that. For $7,020 though I could have me a lot of great things, including a used car. While searching for pics of this dress online I came upon the actual runway shot at Marios Schwab’s show. The following picture is less flattering of the dress if you ask me.

This shows exactly what good lighting and a great photographer can do. This picture directly above looks like someone sneezed black snot all over this lady. It looks more like a floor-length jumpsuit than a beautiful gown. And look at that clear open patch around her…ahem…yoohoo…  Isn’t that what your eye was drawn to? Don’t tell me it wasn’t. She looks like a straight board without any curves, and that’s exactly what I’d look like too. Maybe that’s why they had the chick in the library stand like she’s about to fall over. So, on second thought, strike this option. Good thing too. It would have hurt to have to pay that much to look that bad.

I had an extra piece for you, but it’s late and I don’t want to fight with my scanner right now. I’ve been getting Lucky magazines, so you can guess it would not have been a great look I would be showing you. I can’t find the look on the Lucky website…no doubt why not. The person who threw that look together was probably fired. Alas, the unveiling must wait for another day.

Thanks to everyone who left great comments for me yesterday. I’m determined not to let my seriousness overtake me. I will get my goofy on with my girls. Thanks for the encouragement.

Funny, Silly, Goofy

Or none of the above.

I don’t feel like I’m as free-spirited and silly as I used to be. I remember the first years of married life where I would get in really silly moods and do plain silly things. Things that would make me think,

There is no other adult woman on this earth that does silly stuff like this. Am I the only crazy one that hasn’t totally grown up and still does goofy stuff?

I’m not going to tell you what these silly things were because it would make me look silly. I’ll give you a hypothetical example though. Say a NASCAR race was on tv and I was rooting for my favorite driver. I might get up off the couch and “drive” around the little house that we had and then jump up and down on the couch when he won. Or one of my favorite songs would come on and I’d perform an impromptu concert in the middle of the kitchen. I would literally stop and wonder if my friends acted this way behind closed doors. Am I alone here?

My issue with myself is this: I don’t do that as much any more. I don’t crack goofy jokes. I don’t jump on the couch. I don’t run around the house screaming just to scream. I’m never silly just to be silly. And this would be the perfect time to get my goofy on. I have two young kids who would probably love it if their mother lightened up once in a while. I’ve got great genes that almost require silliness on a daily basis (refer to this post).

Right now I’m telling myself that it’s because I have many more responsibilities now than I did back then. Just tonight I had to pay some freaking bills that are due before the beginning of the month (AMEX, you’re on my short list of things I hate right now). Total silly killer. Earlier I had to discipline Reagan because she couldn’t get herself washed and shampooed like I asked her to within a reasonable amount of time. How could I be goofy with her after denying her dessert?

There are appointments, bills, school, training and discipline, and other minor things that creep up during each day that kill my silly. I want my silliness back. I’m tired of being an old, cockamamie adult!

Help me get my silly back. Is anyone out there remotely like what I described above? Are you still goofy? How do you keep your goofy going?

Forever grateful, your old bitty trapped in a 30-something body,

Vote Early, Vote Often

Oh, woops. That’s ACORN’s slogan. Ours is We’re Making Politics Fun Again!

And boy did we whoop it up again last night! Only this time we didn’t host the shindig. That means no clean up!

I am happy to report that your humble correspondent again WON the political bingo. What…were the other contestants asleep? Was I the only one paying attention? With all that titillating discussion I’m not sure why there was drool sliding down several chins and snores every now and then. Right, huh!

Alas, no knock-down-drag-out. Nothing special at all. I could have debated for either candidate. Not that I would have.

Here are a few of my thoughts on the last debate of this political season.

  • My new favorite word is cockamamie! Say it. Isn’t it just fun to say? Grammar Girl says that words with a k (or k sound) in them are just funnier. I must agree. I will now use cockamamie every chance I can.
  • I am suspicious of Joe Plumber’s instant fame. Just how did his popularity usurp that of Joe Sixpack’s? Why are we pandering to plumbers now instead of sixpacks? That’s just cockamamie. Just think of what you’re getting with each. With Joe Plumber you’re getting plumber’s crack. With Joe Sixpack you’re guaranteed a sixpack, whether it be of your favorite beverage or a rock -hard chest.
  • I’m convinced they had the candidates sitting this time so McCain would stay out of the camera’s way.
  • Did you notice the color choice of each candidates’ wife’s dress? Not subtle at all. The only thing more coordinated are mother dresses in weddings. My favorite is still a nice skirt suit with awesomely beautiful red heels.
  • Of course there were the immediate opinion polls after the debate. How can a certain network I was watching (not my normal network) obtain a valid sampling of people so soon after the debate finished? They have the same accuracy as those stupid exit polls that the media uses to try to influence everyone outside the Eastern Time Zone.

So I’m going to host my own poll. Get out the vote people!

You are all cordially invited to our next political party:

Our Election Night Shindig!
This cockamamie party won’t end until every cockamamie vote has been counted!

Please show up as soon as you finish voting. Also, please bring several changes of clothing and your own food to share. We’ll be living communal style for a while as we don’t expect this think to be decided until on or about 19 January 2009. It’s all about spreading the wealth!

Ambition

When I was younger and someone asked me what I wanted to be I would say I wanted to be like my mom. At that time she was a “secretary” at the base, and that was pretty much all I knew or understood about her job. I did know that she typed and it made me want to learn how to type.

As I got a little older and began to understand what money was and what the opportunities it would allow my answer became “rich”. “I’m going to be rich.” Doing what? Who knew. At one point my dad made a comment about mailmen making a lot of money so I even thought about being a mailman for a while. That wouldn’t make me rich enough to take care of my parents though so, idea: scrapped.

I went to college with the understanding that I would graduate with a degree in International Affairs (completed Dec ’96) and then work for a company like Coca Cola in an international capacity. I loved French (still do) and wanted to work in a business environment using my French. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I didn’t want to use my French skills teaching kids. I had no desire whatsoever to become a teacher.

Well, we all see where I have ended up. A glorified French teacher. HA! While I do teach Reagan the beginnings of French, I also teach her everything else she is learning. God has one GIGANTIC sense of humor. The one thing I did not want to become is the one thing I spend most of my day doing. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Throughout my adult years I’ve wondered what it would be like if I could have another career. I in no way desire to leave behind what I have now. My husband, two kids and the WAHM/SAHM life I’ve created (with help, obviously) around me are what I am right now. I don’t want anything different right now. But if there were some parallel universe where I could pursue something else at this time in my life what would it be?

I’ve always been fascinated with the eye. It is amazing to me how it works. Would I have the patience to go to school long enough to become an optometrist or an ophthalmologist?  Probably not.

I love to sew, and with enough money and time I would love to design clothes. I have no thoughts of grandeur that people would actually want to buy these clothes from me. It’s a creative outlet that I would love to pursue further. Last year I started Sew Petit as an outlet for some of my creativity. I love both the creative and business sides of it.

I would also like to get formal training in web design. This is something I know I would need to get better at the actual coding of pages. But, ugh, I don’t know how much of the technical talk I could understand or take. There would need to be a lot of hands-on learning, because that’s how I learn best, by experience.

Since I’ve been married and had to take care of the “decorating” of our humble abodes (we’re on our fifth) interior design/decorating has had my attention. This is another area where lots more money and time could lend itself to wonderful rewards. Really, not even lots more money. So much can be done to beautify a house with little money.

Du and I have also had grand plans (or thoughts at least) to be amazing European tour guides. Traveling all over Europe gave us the desire to show others the beauty and history that we were discovering for ourselves. I would be the planner and Du would be the actual history dispenser. My French and his German would come in handy as well. Rick Steves, watch out buddy!

For right now though God has me exactly where He wants me. I’m not rich, I’m not an international Coke executive and I will never be an eye doctor. I’m glad that He is giving me some ambition though. After Du retires from his job (possibly in seven years!) who knows what we’ll do and what I’ll have time for. And who knows if I’ll even still desire these things.

What about you? What do you want to be when you grow up?

Hello, It’s Me

My last post was posted on Wednesday. In today’s blogosphere that was forever ago. Are you still here? I haven’t forgotten you! My life has been a little busy, which should make for good bloggy fodder, right? Why can’t I remember what I’ve done since last Tuesday?

Sunday after church we headed up to a lake nearby to spend the night. Originally it was going to be us and my brother and sister-in-law. My dad and step-mom ended up joining us as well. We stayed in “chalets” right next to each other, right on the shore of the lake. Even with cloudy weather it was beautiful. And although it was for only one night we all had a great time.

For instance, the ladies went scavenging for food and it ended up taking much longer than we expected. What did we scavenge for? Meat. Of the prepackaged variety that would cook up nicely on a grill. Jeeves (my nav system) took us to this tiny, out of the way, grocery store that ended up being closed. Who would have guessed that it would be closed on a Sunday…so thirty minutes later we’re stopping at all of the gas stations/bait shops that we had passed along the way while winding our way back to the campsite.

$2 for a package of 20 Ritz. My step-mom probably gave her right kidney for the meat we picked up. Here’s our awesome grill items we acquired (there were bacon wrapped shrimp waiting on us that Richard & Lee had brought): 1/2 pound of ground beef (frozen solid), two andouille sausages (precooked), and a frozen pizza. Oh, and some french fries. Our “cookout” ended up costing us about $50…

Camping is nothing if there isn’t a campfire. We sat around making S’mores and talking politics (who’d have thought that too, huh) until Richard and Lee decided to show us how they could telepathically communicate with one another. Pretty soon we were all catching on to “Clicks is the name of the game”. Ever play it?

At bedtime we each retired to actual beds (these were chalets) with our own linens provided from home. Except, Du and I forgot our pillows so we had to use the ones provide–with our towels wrapped around them so as not to contract any diseases from previous chalet inhabitants…

The girls and I are now on the road in order to give Du quiet time to study–big final on Tuesday.

Hmm, what else has been taking up my time? Listening to podcast after podcast of Grammar Girl. Catching up on all the ones I’ve missed. I can’t say I’m putting any of it to practice, but it’s good to at least know when I might be committing an error…

Also, various people have been talking/writing about using God-given talents for God and how sanctification is not something many Christians still seek these days. I need to work on both of those. What good are talents if they’re only used for worldly purposes? And what good is life if you’re (read: I’m) not seeking to become more like and act more like Christ each day? So, my challenge to Christians: how are you using your talents for God, not just for glory? AND are you really seeking daily sanctification?